Badly Drawn Ben

A Rough-Hewn Kind of Life

2006-03-03T08:55:00.000-08:00

On New Beginnings and Finding a Guru...

If you've read some of my past articles you might remember that for a few years I was an upholsterer...You know, creating and repairing all types of furniture, stuff like that.
It was probably the least glamorous job that I've ever had or could ever want, but the life-lessons that I learned from that job were invaluable and I think back to those times on a daily basis, nearly.

One of these life-lessons learned from upholstery that I've been pondering lately is that everything and every-one can have a new beginning and often all that new beginning needs is time and attention, patience and love.

Just like the rocking chair that sits in the middle of our living room with multiple layers of different colors of paint showing through the surface where time and use have worn down the appearance, lop-sided and tweaked from one-too-many well-intentioned repairs and upgrades, and a markedly lazy comfortablity acheived only by years and years of remaining the same by changing as necessary to accomodate every new person that wanted to take advantage of it's simple design...Lennon and McCartney said "I am the Walrus", Simon and Garfunkel said "I am a Rock"...I guess what I'm saying is that I am a Rocking Chair.

Except that I don't want to remain, I want to improve.
Over the past few months I've found a renewed energy and personal drive to become a better version of myself. And rather than adding more layers onto who I've been; I've found that I'm beggining to chip away at the layers that have come to be me and I'm finding out what I look like when all of the pretention is removed...Physically, Mentally and Spiritually.
I've been asking "What does it all mean?" for so long that I've forgotten what I wanted to know, or why it was important in the first place.

This is what it all means. This. Life. At least that's what I've found works for me.

At it's grittiest and most surreal I'm finding that life happens everyday, all over the world, and all I have to do is decide which life I want to be mine. I guess that sounds simple, and maybe it is, but I love that simplicity...It's freeing.
In allowing the sandpaper and chisel of grace and time to develop me into something new; I'm finding out that life isn't really as complicated as I thought it was...it's just as complicated as I made it...and sometimes it takes a new perspective and a little bit of polish to bring out that new creation that I, we, are longing to be.

Since Lindsay and I became adventurers like Lewis and Clark recently (except in the exact-opposite direction) and have made our new home in Colorado; we have been making small changes in our personal lives too...You know how it goes "New House = New Rules"...
Except for us it's "New Lives = New Rules".

A big way that I've determined to change my life is that I decided to apply to a medical school so that I could get an Associates of Science Degree in Ophthalmology, which is a really big word to cover the very big field of medicine involving the mirror of the soul...

The first part of my application and testing is over now and I'm happy to tell you that as of this past Friday I did in fact get into the school and class begins on April 11th of this year...YES!

One of the small ways that I've been pushing myself to be a better me is by changing my mentality toward being healthy.

I've always been a sort-of-healthy person, but only because I've never really had to work for it, not that the health that I've enjoyed necessarily parlayed into a strong body or a high-tolerance for lenghty workouts...But that too must change and so I set out to embrace and encourage my physical health in much the same way that I, at one time, embraced and encouraged my spiritual health...

I sought a Mentor, a Guru...I found two.

Matthew McConaughey says "Sometimes you can get the body in shape, and the head ain't in great shape. But it's real nice if you can co-ordinate 'em"...And his motto is simple "Just Keep Livin'"...I'm tryin' bro, I'm tryin'!

In a recent interview with Jason Statham in Men's Health magazine he said "I'm a firm believer in attitude, some people just don't have that desire and they need a good kick in the ass. Look, you've come to train here, let's f--king train! Your body's like a piece of dynamite, you can tap it with a pencil all day but, you'll never make it explode. You hit it once with a hammer, BANG!"

So, I'm doing it...

I'm taking my vitamins and dietary supplements...

Working out every morning and sometimes in the evenings too, as well as going for long hikes in the hills behind our house...

I'm drinking enough water to fill a swimming pool and eating healthier than I ever have, which means that I'm feeling healthier than I ever have and I'm seeing actual results! Not only have I lost some belly, I've probably gained about 10 pounds of muscle; which means that I can actually see a six-pack poking through the dough.

Sweet. This feels good.

Yah, but it's a "Dry Cold"

2006-02-15T18:49:00.000-08:00

Hey everybody, we made it to Colorado, we are all moved into our apartment and are watching our house be put together piece by piece on a daily basis!

I don't have much time to blog right now because I have to get ready for my appointment with a career advisor at PIMA Medical Institute to learn more about the school I'm applying to go to.

Lindsay and I are loving it here and are very excited about our future here in Colorado, we miss our friends and family in San Diego but we are actively planning to have as many people out to visit as we can manage as soon as our house is finished.
So, until I've got some more free time to write some more I'll just give you guys a few pics of our first few days in Highlands Ranch, Colorado!

The view from our apartment...

Our house as we first saw it...

As of right now, it's THIS cold outside...

And we are waiting for a 7-to-10-day snowstorm that we will hopefully get to take advantage of on the slopes!

And now, for my next trick!

2006-01-30T18:02:00.000-08:00

We did it!

The house is sold and we are packing up our last boxes of random crap and linty quarters right now, which means that the computer is next:(

Tomorrow morning the moving company will come and pack all of our stuff into two gigantor-sized-trucks and drive it all off into the mountains, we'll follow our stuff shortly after they leave but we will also make a stop-over in Albuquerque (do you know how long it took me to remember how to spell that?) to visit my mother-in-law and then onto an apartment in Highlands Ranch where we will be living until our house is finished, which should be at around mid-June.

Also, I'll be applying to go to school for an Assosciates of Science Degree in Ophthalmic Technology as soon as we get there, so hopefully I'll be accepted into the school and after a few short years I'll be blasting peoples eyeballs with lasers...and won't that be fun?!

Sooo, I will not be posting for a little while, hopefully just a few weeks, but never fear; Badly Drawn Me will return as soon as we get our place settled, and I'm sure I'll have lots of great stories to tell you all!

Thanks for your support!
Ben

Ch-Ch-Changes and Christianity is the new F-word

2006-01-13T08:58:00.000-08:00

Over the past few days I've been reflecting back on 2005 and this blog. It's been a sort of spiritual journey for me and this blog has been more of a platform for me to get things off my chest than to entertain others...and now I want to share my thoughts with you since you've pretty much stuck with me since I started this blog up.

To begin with, Linds and I are in the process of selling our home in Southern California and once that is finished we will fulfill a dream that we have shared since shortly after we got married; a move to Colorado and the beginning of our plan to have a family of our own.
The selling of our townhouse has been one of the most stress-inducing challenges that I have ever gone through and everyday seems to bring a new challenge in the process...My daily mantra to get through is simply a countdown of the days until we're done with the sale and on our way, followed by a deep, deep breath.

Lindsay and added a new family member to our little clan early in 2005, a little white puppy named Sugar that has become a 70 pound terror with a whip-like tail and teeth that don't quit...Flash in general is not amused, but they do get along like good dogs should.

I have decided that I am going to go to school after we move to Colorado, a career school to be exact. I'm considering one of two career paths at the moment, either a career in Radiography leading to Sonography or MRI...OR, a career in Ophthalmology. Either one is very exciting and rewarding with great opportunities, and both have an approximate time in school of 2 years...it'll be tough go to school and work part time, but it'll be worth it in the long run.

Writing in this blog has been a big deal for me, not just the writing though but also meeting new friends and getting connected with old friends...it's been a blessing.

On a more serious and personal note, 2005 was actually a pretty hard year for me, and since I tend to internalize my issues; I didn't really go into detail with some of the harder things that happened. I don't know if this is to my benefit or detriment that I haven't been forthcoming with my hardships but I just don't think that telling the world my problems is going to make them go away...or make me feel any better.

To be as brief as possible...Hard times fell both financially and spiritually at about mid-year of 2005 when a person, who I had thought was my friend, decided that he was going to drop the hammer and be an ultra-micro-managing boss instead of the friend, community leader and pastor that he had always passed himself off to be. It was hard for me on many levels to understand and be OK with how things went down, hard enough that I wept bitterly for hours and still think about it on a daily basis, but I am a stronger and wiser person from the experience.

It pains me to write this now because I know that my family members and close friends from years-past read this blog, but I am tired, weary, of trying to make sure that everybody else is OK with how I am and who I am; when I am not OK with how I am and who I have been pretending to be.

Over the past several years, my faith has been shaken, and this past years events that caused me to quit the ministry I was a part of; was no exception. In fact it may have been the bell's toll for any reserve of faith that I had in The Church.
In fact, at this point in my spiritual life I don't know that I can ever go back to living in the suffocating bubble that I have found Christianity to be.

In brief, I've lost my faith in Christianity. Thank God.

What was shaken in me over the past few years is probably summed up best by a question that my friend Dean asked recently on his blog... "Would Jesus be a Christian?"
Based on my perception alone, my response would be a firm "NO" but, I didn't respond to Deans question right away, maybe because I don't think I was ready to say what I really wanted to say; which was "Should I be a Christian?"

Christian, it implies a life of devotion to a set of moral and spiritual ideals, a service to God and Man with an inborn peace brought about by the very spirit of God.
Yet, I see a gang of fools led about by pride and guided by people with no more sense than a flock of geese, condemning like-minded people because of insignificant differences in opinion, all the while making a mockery of the peace of God; which they so-boldly proclaim lives in their hearts.

The Church was to be built upon a rock, to be the very followers of Christ.
Yet, today the Church is nothing more than a fancy looking building where Christians meet in a clubhouse type of atmosphere, a Sunday morning fashion show for the Faithful-Elite, a meeting place for spiritual-socialites to gather together for the purposes of Worshiping the Lord (See: Showmanship), Prayer for the less fortunate (See: Gossip) and Meditation on the Holy Scriptures (See: Thinking about what's for Lunch. See also: Sleeping)

And the Bible? What's that? It's like Poems and stuff right?

What is Christianity anymore? Really?
It certainly isn't what Christ intended for it to be. Christianity has become a religion unto itself, a club with required membership, lifelong member benefits such as life, death and fire insurance that will never expire as long as you show up on Sunday morning looking spiffy with a grin and a "God-Bless". Because of the judgmentality, aloof attitudes, infighting and general inability of "Christians" to be IN this world without damning it to hell on a daily basis, rather than just being OF this world; Christians are now seen as Bible-wielding maniacs; and the savior who's virtues they espouse so vehemently has been turned into no more than a mythical patriarch who lords over a group of social pariahs that excel in contradicting themselves on a daily and public stage.

It seems to me that over the course of time and due in large part to the actions and/or inactions of well-meaning-yet-not-too-bright "believers and followers", Christianity has become the new F-word; Socially Unacceptable.

I've lost my faith in Christianity, maybe now I can finally get down to knowing God.

Personal Best of 2005

2006-01-12T08:22:00.000-08:00

I was looking back over the various posts that I've made on this blog in 2005 and thought it would be worthwhile to post the ones that I am most proud of on a personal level...I also thought this would be worthwhile since the majority of these posts can only be found by searching the archives...which can be a pain in the arse.

1. The Bride, The Geisha and The Whitewashed Tomb
2. "You've got to do something, Or else"
3. 12/21/2012 - The End? and 12/21/2012 The End? Part Two
4. The Divided States of America
5. On Patriotism and Love of Country
6. I thought I had to be perfect
7. Crawdad fishing and the Death of the American Church

And from my life stories blog...

8. Broke a bone
9. Kissed a girl
10. Got in a fight, Peed my pants

I wonder...

2006-01-10T13:41:00.000-08:00

I was hanging out with my brother-in-law Casey a few days ago when he posed a question to me that has been plaguing me ever since he brought it up!

So, now I'm going to bring it to you...

What won't Meatloaf do for love?

Choose Your Own Adventure

2006-01-05T08:24:00.000-08:00

I was into reading mystery novels for a while in my early teen years, it was a nice break from the science fiction and adventure books I would usually read.

I remember reading stories about Hercule Poirot and his amazing ability to see an obvious clue where others could only see clutter and chaos. Sherlock Holmes was great too, the whole deductive reasoning thing went a little over my head but I enjoyed it none the less.

My favorite mystery stories were the ones where you could choose your own adventure and consequently; your own ending.
Some of you might remember these stories and the various points in the story where you would be prompted to choose how you wanted the story to unfold...IE "If you want Bobby and Cindy to push the red doomsday button and see what happens to the rocket aimed for the moon: Skip ahead to page 155. OR, IF you want Bobby and Cindy to leave the red button alone and open the creepy door and go down the creepy tunnel: Skip ahead to page 98."

Being an impatient and inquisitive sort I would always read all of the possible story paths and decide later which one I liked best.

Of course, no matter what adventure you chose Bobby and Cindy still ended up in some sort of bad situation where the outcome was basically the same...but in some cases the outcome was vastly different. Disturbingly different sometimes.

*** *** ***

I was thinking back on these "Choose your own adventure" stories this morning after I had read about the 12 miners in West Virginia that had died after an explosion and subsequent collapse had sealed their fates nearly 2 miles underground.

A list of 10 of the mens names was released.

Alva Martin Bennet, 50
Jim Bennett, 61
George Hamner Jr. of Gladyfork
Terry Helms, 50
David Lewis, 28
Randal McCloy, 27
Fred Ware Jr., 59
Jack Weaver, 52
Marshall Winans, 49

Many of the friends, family, onlookers and viewers from around the world were understandably angry that these men had perished in such harsh conditions and so unexpectedly. Family and Friends were also very upset because of a glimmer of hope that turned out to be false...this anger is also understandable.

I do understand the anger, I do.
But I do not understand the confusion over how and why these men died, nor do I understand the deaths of these men being blamed on the mine officials and owners.

Every one of those men from Jim Bennet at the age of 61 down to 28 year old David Lewis chose their own adventure at some earlier point in their lives.
They knew the risks and the downfalls of the path they'd chosen and yet they got up everyday and chose that same adventure over and over again.
Rather than trying to blame the mine officials or the earth or God for those men not being around anymore, I think that we should be celebrating their lives and understand the fact that those men chose to be in that mine; even after they understood the risks involved.

Sometimes, even though we know the end will be the same no matter which path we choose, we still have to choose our own adventure and go along with it until the story ends; and hopefully the ending will be happy.

Drumroll Please...

2005-12-31T09:13:00.000-08:00

We got an offer!!!

Finally somebody figured it out and put down an offer on the townhouse, we are very, very excited!
I'll give more details as we progress...but for right now, just know that we are in a 30 day escrow which means we'll be out by the end of January and we are SO...FRIGGIN'...STOKED!

Goodbye to this...

And Hello to this!

Happy New Year Indeed.

Time gets the best of us...again

2005-12-27T15:30:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year!...PSYCHE!...Happy New Year! YEAH!!!

Merry Christmas!!!

2005-12-25T09:42:00.000-08:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL

AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT

And for those that don't celebrate Christmas, I wish you a Happy Festivus!

Let's all gather round the metal pole, air our grievances and later tonight we'll have the feats of strength!

Happy Holidays Everybody

2005-12-22T08:54:00.000-08:00

There is a new story on my other blog for your reading enjoyment.

The First Time I Ever: Got in a Fight - OR - Peed my Pants in Public.

Enjoy

Caption Me!

2005-12-19T10:45:00.000-08:00

Ben Says What?

Words That Matter

2005-12-15T07:31:00.000-08:00

Savinien Cyrano de Bergerac is standing underneath a massive tree, looking up through the branches and wind and confusion to the focus of his unrequited love. Roxanne.
She stands on a balcony looking down through the same branches and confusion at who she thinks is the young and handsome Christian de Neuvillette.

With his face, and nose, covered by a scarf; Cyrano speaks the words of love that he had only until this time been able to relay through the dull-witted, but good hearted Christian...but now, hidden by the night; Cyrano seizes his opportunity and speaks..."I love thee! I am mad! I love, I stifle!"

Cyrano and Roxanne flirtingly spar with all of the words ever invented that could describe love and beauty and truth and feelings...All of these words flowing from the earthen floor up to a balcony made of stone and back down again.
At one point Roxanne remarks that she can barely hear Cyrano's words and Cyrano explains that because his words must travel UP to her they lose some of their strength, but not their meaning...Cyrano then warns Roxanne to be careful..."A harsh word from such a height would kill me!"...

Be careful, a harsh word from such a height would kill me.

*** *** ***

Shakespeare wrote of a similar looking scene in Romeo and Juliet where the unrequited lovers are separated by a balcony...but not just by a balcony, they are separated by blood and by name foremost, and therefore can not be allowed to love each other.
Juliet remarks that if not for Romeo's last name their situation would be vastly different..."What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other word would smell as sweet."

Is it the words that matter or the meaning behind them?

*** *** ***

The other day I got a voice message from my friend Monte.

When I got his message I hadn't seen Monte or spoken to him for almost 6 months, reason being that Monte attends a church that I used to lead worship at but now no longer associate myself with. The church was also how Monte and I met and became fast friends.

The voice message went something like this...
"Ben, it's Monte. I haven't seen you for quite a while and I just wanted you to know that I miss you...and I love you...and I wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas and just to tell you that I think that the New Year is going to be...fabulous...for you, and I hope that we see each other soon. Bye."

Though his words were few, Monte's message lasted almost a full 2 minutes.

I think it would be easy for anybody who wasn't paying attention to discount or trivialize Monte's words; especially when he's telling another man that he Misses them and that he Loves them and that the New Year is going to be Fabulous.

But trivializing what he said, and how he said it, would be truly foolish. In my opinion.

I believe that I know enough about Monte to know that the reason he speaks so slowly and deliberately is because he wants every single word to matter, and for the meaning of each of his words to be known and understood.

Understanding this about Monte helped me to soak in what he was saying and not just discount them as just being what you say to a friend that you haven't seen in a while...

I guess that what I'm trying to say is that I want my words to matter.

If I, we, want what we say to count, I'm sure that we will have to be so careful with what we do say and probably not say the first thing that comes into our heads. Far too often, for me, what comes naturally is to drop harsh words from such heights that the hearers would be hurt.

I'm reminded of a quote on my brothers blog from an author who said "A bad attitude is arrogance." In the same way, a harsh word could be seen as foolishness.

We should want for the gravity of our words to weigh heavily on ourselves before we allow them to leave our lips and place their weight on others.

*** *** ***

If I don't get a chance to say this later, Merry Christmas to Everybody, and yes, I too believe that the New Year is going to be fabulous!

2005-12-05T13:34:00.000-08:00

"FIGARO! FIGARO! FIGARO!"

2005-12-01T12:53:00.000-08:00

My Fellow Americans,

The Freedom of Speech is your right as an American Citizen.
The Freedom of Speech is not a privilege which can be disallowed, rationalized or mitigated.
The Freedom of Speech is a right granted to you by our founding fathers in the First Amendment of the Constitution of the United States of America.

The First Amendment reads as follows..."Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press ; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances."

Though you may not be aware of it your Freedom of Speech is at risk of being taken away and the First Amendment is in danger of being trampled upon by those that represent YOU!

The Federal Communications Commission (FCC) and a minority of Government Representatives are actively working to give sufficient power to the FCC to Regulate, Censor and Filter the Freedom of Speech in the areas of Cable Television, Satellite Radio and other mediums.
THIS MUST NOT HAPPEN!

If the FCC is allowed to have this power over Freedom of Speech; it will be the beginning of the end of our Constitution and our basic American Rights.

Stand with me in support of the Stamp Out Censorship Act (HR 1440)
This bill has been brought before the House by Vermont Congressman Bernie Sanders. Click here to learn about the proposal.

If you care AT ALL about your American Rights please...PLEASE go to the following links and email or write your government representatives and request that they pledge their support to the Stamp Out Censorship Act (HR 1440)

Click here to find out who you can contact in the House of Representatives.
Click here to find out who you can contact in the Senate.

Drop what you are doing and email or write your government representative NOW!

NOW!
Before it's too late.

Knowledge = Power

2005-12-01T08:30:00.000-08:00

"Now," men said, "Now we have knowledge, and with knowledge power."

"Now let us demonstrate our greatness. Let us build a city, and a tower with its top in the heavens, and let us make a name for ourselves - lest we be scattered abroad on the face of the whole earth."

And of course, they were scattered.
According to the Bible the builders of the Tower of Babel were a people of one mind. They spoke one language, they lived in one place and soon they had One Desire: The Greatness of a god.

So they built their tower and it reached to the heavens, until God struck a blow to their egos with language. Lots and Lots of different languages! (umm...isn't Language a weird word?)
So many different languages in fact that the people got so confused that they began to tear the Tower of Babel down brick by brick until the whole thing collapsed! The collapse of the tower was immediately followed by a mass exodus born of confusion and panic.

Obviously, the moral of the story is to moderate your desire for power from the knowledge you gain, lest it destroy you.

Question: If knowledge is power, what is wisdom? The ability to let power go?

*** *** ***

On the subject of having just enough knowledge that leads to power...

I give you Exhibit A. GOOGLE EARTH.

Just type in a city, state or country and zippitydoodah you're looking at a satellite photograph of that location. Then you can get more and more detail by zooming in or tilting the 3D image...what could be bad about that, right?

Who wouldn't want to see Disneyland from above?

Or maybe Vatican City?

No big deal right? How about something more sensitive...maybe Hoover Dam?

If you don't understand where I'm going with this yet maybe the next image will make it clear...

That's Groom Lake in Nevada, otherwise known as Area 51.

My problem with Google Earth is exactly what it was made for.

Google Earth puts knowledge into the hands of the people, and not just those that would use the knowledge for good or fun (Like me) but also into the hands of those that would use this information to harm or plan to harm others.

I just don't think this sort of information should be available to anybody who wants it!

You may call me paranoid but I call Google Earth a security risk.

2005-11-22T12:52:00.000-08:00

R.I.P.

Sam "The Ugliest Dog in the World"

Ummm...

2005-11-15T07:03:00.000-08:00

I'm speechless, I mean...I am...without speech!

Jones Soda Unveils Salmon Flavored Soda.

Why not? I guess.

Tick...Tick...Tick...12/21/2012

2005-11-14T12:50:00.000-08:00

I was checking my StatCounter.com account this past weekend and was interested to learn that the most searched item on my blog is an article I wrote back in February of this year...I thought it might be worth bringing the article to the top today - if for nothing more than the sake of conversation.

*** *** ***

12/21/2012 - The End?

***********************The Infallible Calendar***********************

The Maya people are perhaps the most mysterious of all of the ancient civilizations that have disappeared from the face of the earth...what we don't know about Mayans outweighs what we do know about them by about 100 times - That's pretty substantial, to say the least.
A few of the things that we do know about the Mayans was that they were smart...Incredibly so.
So smart in fact that they created (perhaps) one of the first recorded languages based solely upon mathematical principals rather than symbols and designs made to imply a commonly understood idea...So, they were very smart with math...but just saying "They were smart with math" doesn't even begin to encompass how smart.

Another thing we know is that the Mayans were as knowledgeable about the pattern of stars and constellations as we are today, if not more...Here comes the kicker...
Their calendar was (is) so accurate that it told the future...(Fact)...Predicting the exact time of such events as Solar and Lunar Eclipses, Dynamic changes in the heavens such as Super-Novae and Black Holes, Extended extreme weather forecasts far into their own future...And, are you ready?...The Maya Calendar Ends on 12/21/2012.

This is not a theory, it's not even an educated guess - That the most advanced calendar of all time ends in our very near future is a solid and confirmable fact.

**********************The Age of Aquarius**********************

There are many in the Astrological community (If you can take them seriously) who believe that the Age of Pisces ends soon and the Age of Aquarius begins...Can you guess on what date?
Now, if you can stop humming that uber-annoying song by Hair for a moment - I'll continue...If you pay any sort of attention to what the crystal-wearer's are mumbling as you pass them on the street corner; you would know a little of the following...

1. Prior to the Age of Aquarius is the Age of Pisces - most commonly associated with the fish symbol that represents Jesus (And gets torn gleefully from the bumper of the faithful's cars while they attend service) - The Age of Pisces is most notably seen as an era where Man is told what to think, how to feel, what to say and how to live, again, in a nutshell...I guess this could be seen in a few different ways...The Church telling people how things should be, The Government telling people how things should be, The People telling the People how things should be...take it at your own speed, I can't say I understand it...my point out of all this gobbledy-gook is what I'll hit on in a moment...
2. The Age of Aquarius (In a nutshell) is supposed to be a period of time where man is no longer imposed upon by the powers that be - whatever those powers may be - and that the mind would be opened up so that people could live freely in the mind, spirit and body...again, this in a very brief and tiny nutshell...Anywho, all of these changes are supposed to take place, according to most, on a specific date...that's right, you got it...12/21/2012!

**********************The Singularity**********************

The date of 12/21/2012 also presents a Mathematical Certainty or Singularity which is not very widely understood but is discussed briefly here... I'll try and give you an instructional walkthrough that points out the major issues of this Singularity...

1. Some mathematicians have plotted the asymptotic graphs of all of humanity's technological developments and projected them out to a point where they all, almost simultaneously "Hit infinity"...The day that they arrived at is 12/21/2012 - the one projected date of "The Singularity."
This day is when some say everything as we know it will change.
Drastically.
*Stick with me on this next one...it may take you a while to wrap your head around it...*
2. If we take a look at some of the Species-Altering events in our history, we can see three MAJOR developments that changed the entire course of Human History.

*The Agricultural Revolution, 30,000 years ago we learned how to farm.

*The Industrial Revolution, 350 years ago we learned how to mass-produce machines.

*The Information Revolution, About 50 years ago we learned how to build computers.

As you can see, the rate of change is increasing; as is our abilities afforded by the changes. With computers, we have the ability to build more efficient things, fly planes and spaceships, educate more people, etc...Each of these enabling technologies will build further development, and at a faster rate...But to what point?
According to the mathematical model, we should see approximately 61 more of these Species-Altering developments before 12/21/2012 and all of the changes will have the same magnitude as the three noted above.
Again, it's only a model, but...The mathematical model predicts that 18 of these changes will be on the last day prior to 12/21/2012, and that 13 of these changes are to happen in the last FRACTION OF A SECOND of 12/20/2012, as things accelerate towards that infinity point - The Singularity.
I won't give you my own version of how things could go down, I'm sure you can create your own.

************************The Bible Code************************

The date 12/21/2012 also makes an appearance in the much-disputed Bible Code.

If you haven't read anything about the Bible Code I would recommend it, I'm not ready to tell you that I believe in it totally - but I will say that the Bible Code has predicted many major events, such as assassinations of major world and religious leaders, disasters - both unpredicted and planned. As well as many, many dates...One of which is of course 12/21/2012.

In the Bible Code the 21st day of the 12 month of the year two-thousand-and-twelve is criss-crossed by the words "EARTH DESTROYED".
Now, I don't know what all this means, I don't even know if I'm going to think about it again after I finish with this article - But I do know that all of these small points do seem to line up and point to a certain date.
But does all this mean that the earth will be destroyed? That all man will be wiped out and our beautiful planet will be turned into a lifeless rock?
Or, does it mean that the world as we know it will change, for better or worse...Not that we'll die, Not that life will cease...But just...Change?

Come Sinner, Come Saint...I welcome your thoughts on the END...whatever IT may be.

*** *** ***

Gotta be Cruel to be Kind?

2005-11-10T15:27:00.000-08:00

"Dear Mom, Dad, and Jennifer, I will make this short as I know It will be hard to deal with. If you haven't heard by now, I've passed away"

I read this article on cnn.com today about a 19 year old girl named Suzzane Gonzales who commited suicide 9 weeks after meeting an online group called A.S.H. (Alt.Suicide.Holiday) that apparently provides information and suggestions on the best and worst ways to commit suicide.

"Members of this news group trade advice on how to commit suicide, using code words like 'transitioning' and 'exiting' and 'catching the bus.' Suzanne found this group nine weeks before she died, posting nearly one hundred messages detailing her plans.
"My chosen method is potassium cyanide....I've stopped eating so my tummy will be nice and acidic," one of Suzanne's posts read.

Suzzane's family are quick to point out that Suzzane had always been a "bubbly girl" and very bright. With a future practically carved out for her with a science scholarship in hand this would seem to be true. But something changed and Suzzane obviously found encouragement in her new found community of suicide-dwelling online buddies.

Suzzane's father maintains that A.S.H. gave (Suzzane) everything she needed to kill herself.
"The knowledge, the tools, their psychological encouragement. ... She was led to her death"

An older member of A.S.H. called "River" emailed cnn.com the following..."Suzy had me proof-read her notes and we went over all the details of her exit, just to be safe,"
But "River" disputes his role in Suzanne's death. "No one in ASH encourages anyone else to commit suicide. ASH is pro-choice,"
Another A.S.H. member called "Geo" said that "If it weren't for (A.S.H., I think the chances of me having committing suicide would have been greater," he said. "Having a place where you can write those thoughts, get them out of your head. It can be very therapeutic."

Suzzane's father feels differently: "That's not pro-choice, that's brainwashing. And they are not being held responsible."

*** *** ***

If a suicidal person goes to a gun show, openly discusses their desire to commit suicide and then is assailed by hundreds if not thousands of gun sellers telling that person "Hey, this 12-gauge shotgun will sure do the trick!" OR "I've got a .38 special right here that'll end your life quick and painless...just tuck this baby under your chin and pull the trigger!" - Should the gun-sellers be held accountable for selling that suicidal person the item that hurried their demise?

Just imagine the same scenario with any physical item that can be used to commit suicide with...Cars, Drugs, Rope...Whatever...
In a rational society doesn't it seem that this group A.S.H. and the people that facilitate and frequent it should be held accountable in some way for encouraging another person to kill themselves?

If it's illegal to commit suicide shouldn't it be illegal to help someone commit suicide by telling them the best way to do it?
And how is what A.S.H. is doing any different than what put Dr. Jack Kevorkian in jail for second-degree murder?

Higher Fences = Better Neighbors

2005-11-03T17:04:00.000-08:00

From an article in nbcsandiego.com

WASHINGTON -- A local House Republican wants to build a fence along the entire 2,000-mile U.S.-Mexico border, a plan that could cost billions of dollars and that critics say would do little to stop illegal immigration.

Rep. Duncan Hunter of San Diego, chairman of the House Armed Services Committee, planned to announce legislation Thursday to create a two-layer reinforced fence with lighting and sensors from the Pacific Ocean to the Gulf of Mexico, a 100-yard border zone to the north of the barriers, and 25 new ports of entry.
Currently, most of the westernmost 14-mile stretch of the border is lined with parallel fencing and there is secure fencing at other vulnerable points, but long stretches of the border are protected only by patchy barbed wire or nothing at all.
"Illegal aliens continue to funnel directly into many of our local communities and adversely impact our way of life by overwhelming our schools, inundating our health care system and, most concerning, threatening our safety," said Hunter, who was introducing the bill with Rep. Virgil Goode, R-Va . He said building a fence and enforcing immigration laws could reverse the trends.
A conservative group called Let Freedom Ring that is promoting a border fence estimates it would cost about $8 billion.
The plan is controversial. Republican Gov. Bill Owens of Colorado recently announced his support, but Sen. John Cornyn, R-Texas, has said he doesn't think a fence would stop illegal immigration.

Groups including National Council of La Raza, the largest U.S.-based Hispanic advocacy group, oppose a fence.
"It doesn't really deal with why people are migrating or why our economy is so dependent on their labor," said Cecilia Munoz, the group's vice president of policy. "The resourcefulness of people on both sides of the border is likely to be greater than a fence."

Dan Stein, president of the Federation for American Immigration Reform, planned to join Hunter at his news conference Thursday to support the idea.
"The U.S. and Mexico, if they're going to remain friends they're going to need good fences," Stein said.

Hunter's bill contains other immigration reforms including authorizing 10,000 new Border Patrol officers, empowering local police to enforce immigration laws and increasing penalties for hiring illegal immigrants.
Hunter is a leading opponent of illegal immigration who earlier this year pushed the Bush administration to commit to fortifying the westernmost 3.5 miles of the border, over the objections of environmentalists, the California Coastal Commission and the local Democratic congressman.

*** *** ***

How about some quick figures on illegal immegration and how it is affecting us, shall we?

- 10.4 million illegal aliens reside in the United States.(source: Pew Hispanic Center)
- Every year, 500,000 additional illegal aliens enter the United States(source: Pew Hispanic Center)
- California's nearly 3 million illegal immigrants cost taxpayers nearly $9 billion each year (source: Federation for American Immigration Reform)
- Illegal aliens cost the federal government $10 billion more annually than they pay in taxes. (source: Center for Immigration Studies)
- Taxpayers pay $750 million annually to house the 18,000 illegal aliens in California prisons. (source: US Govt. Accounting Office)

*** *** ***

In my opinion this fence should have been built 20 years ago, I will follow this story very closely and look for ways to support Duncan Hunter's bill.

From Zimmerman to Dylan, Vampires to Jesus

2005-10-28T11:16:00.000-07:00

When Robert Allen Zimmerman decided to change who he was in the late 1950's he became Bob Dylan; the freewheelin' epitomy of American songwriting and the trailblazing leader of a new form of politically minded, socially commentative and philosophically driven culture of musicians.

Nobody knew then why Robert Allen Zimmerman had changed his name and chosen such an unpaved path to follow, to this day nobody knows why he chose the last name Dylan. (originally "Dillon")
It was a big deal back then to change your name and your lifestyle in the blink of an eye and Bob Dylan was one of the first to do it in the name of music; but for Bob it paid off in a big way. Today Bob Dylan is recognized as one of America's most highly regarded popular songwriters, and his enduring contributions to the American oeuvre are comparable to those of Stephen Foster, Irving Berlin, Woody Guthrie, and Hank Williams. In the interests of time I won't mention the countless legion of songwriters that are known today because they took a page from Bob Dylan's "How-To" book on becoming an icon.

Changing his name and reinventing himself was not the last big change that Bob Dylan would make.
In late 1978 Bob Dylan got "Saved".

His widely-publicized conversion to Christianity made Bob Dylan perhaps the most famous Jewish apostate in American history.
It is interesting to me and I think it should be noted that Dylan was suffering at this time from a painful divorce as well as an exhausting world tour and far too much alcohol...these life issues must have compounded Dylan's fever for answers and so he began to search the ether again for his next big decision...Jesus.

Many of his die-hard fans rebelled against Dylan's new-found faith...maybe because his lyrics lacked the hard edge the fans had grown accustomed to?
From: "A Hard Rain's A-Gonna Fall"
"I saw a newborn baby with wild wolves all around it, I saw a highway of diamonds with nobody on it, I saw a black branch with blood that kept drippin', I saw a room full of men with their hammers a-bleedin', I saw a white ladder all covered with water, I saw ten thousand talkers whose tongues were all broken..."
To: "Are You Ready?
"When destruction cometh swiftly, And there's no time to say a fare-thee-well, Have you decided whether you want to be In heaven or in hell?"

Dylan's hard personal edge toward politics and social injustice had turned into a hard spiritual edge that alienated his loyal fans and caused his personal success as a songwriter to take a backseat to his decision to follow Christ.
Yet again, Bob Dylan had forsaken his past and who he was to choose a new lifestyle and a new direction...a new "god" if you will.
Did he have to forsake his personal feelings for social and political reform to follow Jesus?
To quote Dylan shortly after he declared his new-found faith in Jesus: "There was a presence in the room that couldn't have been anybody but Jesus. I truly had a born-again experience, if you want to call it that.... It was a physical thing. I felt it all over me. I felt my whole body tremble. I told you the times they are a-changin' and they did. I said the answer was blowin' in the wind and it was. I'm telling you now Jesus is coming back, and He is! And there is no other way of salvation."

Dylan's Christian albums when compared to his previous "non-religious" offerings could only be called commercial flops. In a 1980 interview in Dayton Ohio he was asked if his choice to become a Christian was an easy one, Dylan replied: "It would have been easier if I had become a Buddhist, or a Scientologist or if I had gone to Sing Sing."
Dylan's evangelical phase didn't last long and he went back to writing the songs that his fans had been waiting for for several years...he continued his career as a critical and commercial success to this day.

There are several icons of music and film that at one time during their career they chose to be a Christian-Singer, or a Christian-Actor and virtually every one of them found that their original passion for music or film or whatever had to be placed on the back burner because they were too busy defending their decision to become a Christian - Ultimately their careers and personal lives suffered because in their attempts to reinvent themselves as Christian artists they had lost all credibility as artists in the first place.
Just ask Pat Boone, Kenny Rogers, M.C. Hammer and Ozzie Ozborne.

The question is this: Does a relationship with Jesus require that all attributes of a former life die and a completely new life begin in order to glorify God?

*** *** ***

Unless you've been hiding under a rock for the last 20-plus years you are pretty well aware of who Anne Rice is and why you know her name.

To be fair, you may not know Anne Rice by name but instead you may know who she is because of what she has given the entertainment world...Does "Interview With A Vampire" ring any bells? Anne Rice has been writing vampire horror novels since 1973 and many of them have been hugely successful; "Interview With A Vampire" and "Queen of the Damned" to name a few.

In a recent article that my brother emailed to me, interviewer David Gates got in touch with Anne Rice to find out where she's been since 2003.
According to Gates "After 25 novels in 25 years, Rice, 64, hasn't published a book since 2003's "Blood Chronicle." Maybe because she was busy having surgery for an intestinal blockage, and also back in 1998, when she went into a sudden diabetic coma; that same year she returned to the Roman Catholic Church, which she'd left at 18. Maybe also because Anne's Husband of 41 years, Stan Rice, died of a brain tumor in 2002.
But now she's back and guess what...yep, she got "Saved."

Anne Rice's most recent novel "Christ the Lord - Out of Egypt" gets released on November 1st, it is Rice's first novel since becoming a Christian.
"I promised," she says, "that from now on I would write only for the Lord."

History, does indeed repeat itself.
I hope for her sake that Rice's millions of fans are accepting of this major change in her fictional bent and more power to her; but I'll be watching Anne Rice very closely.

A Costco Kind Of Weekend

2005-10-24T13:02:00.000-07:00

I wasn't going there to pick up much, just some Jack Daniels, Captain Morgan and a flat of Bottled Water, so I wasn't at Costco for that long. However along with 20 gallon jugs of Olive Oil, Ultimate-Value-Packs of Unmentionables and 30 foot Trampolines; a trip to Costco is also prime people watching time.

You just can't make this stuff up.

Largest Item Purchased...
A 62" flatscreen TV with matching TV stand...it took two flatbed carts and three Costco employees to move the TV from one side of the store to the other in 15 minutes...I saw the new TV owners in the parking lot on my way out...they were trying to convince the Costco people that the 62" TV would fit into the trunk of their Toyota Corolla if they would only give it a try.
Hilarious, I wish I'd had a comfortable chair, popcorn and a soda.

Most Well Rounded Shopping Cart...
An Iranian couple that couldn't stop their little girl from screaming anymore than they could stop yelling at each other had a pretty eclectic gathering of goods by the time they got to the cashier. Included in the cart: A ten pound bag of Unsalted Peanuts, a bag of unripened Mango's, a 6x6 Persian rug, a "valu-pak" of No-Drip Afrin (6 dispensers total), a bag of assorted socks, Chicken Cutlets, a lifetime supply of Scotch Tape...and finally...A family-sized KY Jelly dispenser.
Will Coscto wonders never cease?

Confrontation Overheard While Waiting In Line...
A middle-aged Asian couple are in front of me in line and they are purchasing a dump-truck-sized load of Flour, Sugar, Cooking Oil, Cake Mixes, Soda, Bottled Water, Napkins, Toilet Paper, Toothpicks and 2 Cases of 10w40 Motor Oil. I didn't think this was out of the ordinary given the plethora of goods at Costco until the cashier said something to the customer about whether he was going to sell the Motor Oil out of his Donut Shop, I couldn't help at this point but realize that the Donut Shop owners were purchasing goods for their Donut Shop with their Merchants license which gives them a healthy discount as well as a tax break.
The Donut Shop owner was either a genius or a genuine fraud because he pulled the "I don't understand your english" move with the cashier and continued to load his goods onto the counter and smile with every tooth in his mouth. The cashier started to get bent out of shape and confronted the customer by saying "Are you telling me that you sell Donuts with a side order of Motor Oil?!?" to which the little Asian man happily grinned "Yes, Yes...Donuts!"
Needless to say I left Costco in search of a Donut Shop.

On Old People and the Cars They Kill With...

2005-10-21T11:35:00.000-07:00

Have you read this article?
If not, I'm sure you've read an article or saw a report on the news with virtually the same story over and over again in the past few years..."Old person drives car through crowd, kills several, doesn't realize what he/she has done and parks car in driveway with bodies strung across car grill."

Here are some highlights from the article from cnn.com today...

- A 93-year-old driver apparently suffering from dementia fatally struck a pedestrian and drove for three miles with the man's body through his windshield, police said.

- Parker (the driver) was not likely to face charges because "he did not appear to know what happened or where he was", said Bruce Bartlett, chief assistant in the Pinellas-Pasco County State Attorney's Office. "He may have somewhere in his mind have realized it was a crash, but immediately forgot about it."

- Parker had renewed his license in 2003.

And remember that story in the news from last year or so?
The one where the old man was driving around and got confused, he ended up driving his car through a streetfair at break-neck speed killing 8 or 9 people and wounding a whole bunch more...he didn't remember anything either and as far as I know he still has his driver's license.

According to the Governor's Office of Highway Safety in Arizona...One of the most significant social trends of the new century will be the graying of the population, a fact that raises serious questions for everyone concerned with traffic safety and education.
- In 1990, elderly drivers accounted for 6.7 percent of all miles driven.
- By 2030, according to our conservative estimate, elderly drivers will account for 18.9 percent of all vehicle miles driven, almost triple the 1990 figure.
- Based on current rates, the number of elderly traffic fatalities will more than triple by the year 2030.
- If this expected increase occurs, the number of elderly traffic fatalities in 2030 will be 35 percent greater than the total number of alcohol-related traffic fatalities in 1995, a fatality number that is viewed by policymakers and the public as cause for serious concern.
- They (elderly drivers) tend to become more conservative on the road, driving less often at night, avoiding busy highways, and taking fewer long-distance trips to unfamiliar areas. However, older drivers are more likely than younger ones to be involved in multi-vehicle crashes, particularly at intersections.
- They're also more likely than younger drivers to be seriously injured in a crash because their bodies are simply less able to withstand an impact. This raises the likelihood of increased medical and insurance costs in the future.

Also on cnn.com today was a poll asking if states should revoke driver's licenses when motorists reach a certain age...Surprisingly (to me) the results of the poll are split right down the middle!

I know I'm showing my colors here but this is my perception and in my opinion - If I ever reach a point in my life where my mental and physical health are called into question and I may be a danger to another person because I'm not all there when I'm behind the wheel of several tons of steel on wheels; Yank my driver's license like you're starting a mower!!!

all pictures pulled from www.flickr.com click on pictures for photographer info

Sign Language for the Bar

2005-10-21T10:30:00.000-07:00

I’ve been waiting for a drink so long I’m growing a beard.

I will use it to strangle the bartender.

Thanks to my brother for this link and the wisdom therein...

I've Got Two Tickets to Paradise...

2005-10-20T11:19:00.000-07:00

Streets made of Gold, Eternal Peace, Crystal Lakes...Jeweled Crowns?

PULLED FROM WWW.POSTSECRET.BLOGSPOT.COM

I hope they at least have Sushi and Waterslide Parks!

What do you want?

The Parable of the Terminals & Success!

2005-10-18T10:14:00.000-07:00

Well, Linds and I got back from Colorado on Sunday night and I've been meaning to update my blog with a little info about our trip.
Of course, it's Tuesday now so I've had a chance to digest everything that happened and I'm happy to say that we weren't just high on the idea of living in Colorado all this time; it really is all that we thought it would be and linds and I are really in love with the idea of living there!

I'll give you the layout of the weekend...
Linds and I were scheduled to fly out of Lindberg Field in San Diego on Friday night at 6:15pm so Lindsay got off work a little early and went home to pack and make sure we were ready to roll as soon as I got home from work at around 4:15pm...good to know at this point is that the San Diego airport is notorious for having a very slow and meticulous security process and getting to the airport 2 hours prior to your flight is not only common practice for Linds and I; it is par for the course...however, in this case we didn't have that luxury and we were going to be cutting it closer than we ever had before.

I got home from work, changed my shirt and grabbed a bottled water and we were out the door a minute later with our bags, our tickets and two VERY excited 60 pound dogs. The plan was for our dogs to stay with our friends Mike and Kristine and their dog Bailey for the weekend, of course Sugar and Flash didn't know this yet; they thought they were going to the dog park - and they were PUMPED! Translation: Hard to manage and deaf to commands.
Linds and I got on the freeway at about 4:20pm and OH NO! TRAFFIC!

55 minutes later...(5:15pm)
Extremely frazzled and stressed to the max; Linds and I pulled into Mike and Kristines complex and quickly said our hellos, unloaded the dogs, said our goodbyes and sped off back to the freeway. We had one hour till our flight was supposed to leave and we to drive less than 12 miles to get there...No problem...OH NO! TRAFFIC!

12 miles and 45 minutes later...(6:00pm if you're keeping score)
We pull into the parking lot of the airport, Linds says "We bought our tickets through Frontier Airlines; they're in Terminal 2 - HURRY!"...we park in the most expensive parking complex on earth because we're out of time and we run to the terminal.
At this point we're sweating bullets, breathing hard and barely holding on to our tempers at being so close to being screwed. We make it into terminal 2 and to the ticketing counter for Frontier Airlines by around 6:05; we're in good shape in spite of being so late..."Wait, doesn't that "UA-282" on our tickets mean UNITED AIRLINES!?!"..."Yes sir, it does."..."But isn't United Airlines in Terminal One?"..."Yes sir, it is."

!! PANT !! PANT !! SHHHHIIIIITT!!!!

5 minutes later...(6:10pm - flight leaves in 5 minutes)
Sprinting through terminal 2 as fast as the wheels on our carry on luggage will spin; we're in deep kimshi now! Terminal 1 is approximately a 1/2 of a mile away from Terminal 2 and should take a leisurely stroller 10 minutes to accomplish...We made it in 2 minutes. And thus the Airport Olympics we're born!

We'd made it to Terminal 1 without a moment to spare and ran to the security checkpoint and were relieved to see that the line was not long...maybe they could hold the flight a few moments while we run down the concourse yelling for them to hold the plane.
We hand our tickets to the first security guard who looks us over with a cautiously suspicious eye and smiles sweetly as she hands our tickets back to us and reaches to her left to open up a whole new security checkpoint lane! Maybe she saw that our flight was leaving as we stood there and she was going to rush us through! "If you could just step this way; you've been preselected for a pre-flight security screening"

!! PANT !! PANT !! Fu..Fu...FFFFUUUUUUUCCCCCKKKK!!!

6 minutes later, freshly groped and prodded, tested for radiation and bomb building materials...we were on the run again only this time we were half dressed and dragging our poorly closed luggage behind us.
Stop for a minute and imagine the scene in your mind, got it? Good. Now, thank God it wasn't you.

We made it to our gate about 10 minutes late for our flight but not a moment too soon because the very last call was going out for passengers for the flight to Denver just as we arrived...ahhh, sweet relief.

It was then that I recalled all of the episodes of LOST that I'd been watching...Here come the butterflies...

"Hello, welcome aboard...yes, you're seated in Row 8 by the emergency door at the middle of the aircraft."..."So, I'm responsible for the operation of the emergency door in case...you know?"..."Yes sir, that's right."

!! PANT !! PANT !! NNNNOOOOOOOOO!!!

The Moral: Pay attention to the tiny letters on your ticket information and always pack clean underwear.

*** *** ***

The flight to Denver International Airport was smooth, but not as smooth as the whiskey that I demanded as soon as we were airborne...Tranquilizer says what?
We landed and got our rental car a little while later...the car rental guy must've liked us because he upgraded us for free from a tin can with wheels on it to a Dodge Durango with a bad attitude...Sweet.
We were pretty disoriented trying to navigate around the freeways that surround the Denver Metro area at night and in a strange and very large vehicle but I think we did pretty good...Just ask the 5 or 6 people that we nearly crushed with our monster truck between the airport and our motel. Emphasis on NEARLY.

The weekend got off to a quick start on Saturday morning and we were looking at model homes by 8:30am...by 1:00pm we were meeting with our realtor and by 6:00pm we were discussing the process of placing a hold on the lot we wanted! Talk about a whirlwind day!
I have to say, thank God for our realtor Marcia McCorkall and the representative for Shea Homes Annie Packard; without the two of those ladies Lindsay and I would have had to make an additional trip to get everything done that we did get done on Saturday...who knows, we may have had to make several additional trips!

When it was all said and done we knew which house we wanted and the lot we wanted it on...and so we set the plan in motion with the shaking of hands and signing of papers...smiles all around we drove away from the housing development with high hopes and light hearts.
Here is a few pictures of the style of house we're going for...it's called The Sage.

And here is the corner lot where it's going to be approximately 6 to 7 months from now...

We love our dirt lot on Heatherton Lane!

We spent the rest of Saturday evening and all day Sunday driving around our neighborhood area, seeing the sites of Denver South Metro and learning about the state of Colorado...We had a great time for sure.
Something cool about where we'll be living is that about a stones-throw from where our backyard will be is a nature preserve called the Backcountry Wilderness Area (Used to be called OSCA which I think stood for something but I forget what)...the Backcountry Wilderness Area is basically 8200 acres of protected land that will never be built on and will never be developed...Which means that there will never be tons of traffic or other houses built behind ours, good news for us!
Here's a few shots of the Backcountry Wilderness Area, as well as some Buffalo we saw on the side of the road and a Prairie Dog that popped up under my feet and said hello...

All in all it was the fastest, busiest, fullest and most satisfying weekend Lindsay and I have spent in a long, long time and when it was all said and done; if we hadn't had to come back to San Diego I don't think we would have!
I'll definitely keep you all updated as things progress, thanks for your thoughts and prayers!

Big thanks to Mike and Kristine for watching our "Kids" - I hope they didn't slobber too much!

"That John Denver's full of sh*t man!"

2005-10-13T12:54:00.000-07:00

J/K...J/K

Mrs. Donaghy and I are flying to Colorado this weekend to have a look-see and check out a few housing developements.
We've been needing to get out there and look around to decide what area we want to live in and also to put a bit down on the plot we want; so I'm hopeful at how productive and informative this trip will be.

I'm planning on (somehow) getting a larger memory card for our digital camera and hopefully will be able to take a ton of shots so I can show off my amazing skills. You know, photography skills, computer hacking skills, bow hunting skills...

Roughing It

2005-10-13T07:03:00.000-07:00

My friend Mike blogged here about our camping trip last weekend up in the San Bernardino Mountains.
Good times.

Go East Young Man

2005-10-05T08:56:00.000-07:00

It's official.
As of today our house is on the market and our grand plan is underway.

For those of you without telepathy or basic mind-reading abilities, I'll let you in on the plan...
Linds and I have been planning a move to Colorado for about a year and a half now. The first step in the plan has always been to sell our house in North County San Diego and go from there, we would've sold the house over a year ago if it hadn't been for a nasty little tax called Capital Gains; which (put simply) says that if you buy a house and turn around and sell it within less than two years you have to pay a major percentage of the sale in taxes to the State...I think it would've been around $35K to $45K...obviously we didn't want that to happen so we waited and kept planning and hoping...And Lo and Behold! The time has come.

The next step after selling our house is to get over to the Denver/Metro area of Colorado and snatch up the house of our dreams...we've got a few ideas, mostly in an area called Highlands Ranch...check it out!

Here's one of the houses we've got in mind, it's being built as I type and we hope to put a hold deposit on it when we go to check out the area in a few weeks.

Downstairs

Upstairs

It's all pretty exciting but also a little scary...but I think Linds and I are more than ready for our next grand adventure!

If you pray, pray that that our house sells fast. I'll keep you posted

The first time I ever...

2005-09-22T11:43:00.000-07:00

I started another blog a little while ago to jot down my memories of growing up...the good, the bad and the ugly.

Here's a link, enjoy!

The First Time I Ever...

www.relief-report.blogspot.com

2005-09-20T09:32:00.000-07:00

Click on this link to take a look at stories, pictures and videos of my brothers relief trip to sites effected by Hurricane Katrina.

In Memoriam 9/11 - Too soon?

2005-09-13T08:09:00.000-07:00

This past Sunday, September 11th 2005, I turned on the TV for a few minutes before taking the dogs for a walk, what I saw on the TV shook me up...I'm still upset about it.

I only watched the 9/11 program for less than a minute - but in that minute I saw the terrified faces of soon to be murdered people captured in a moment of pandemonium by a photographer in "the right place, at the right time"...I saw video of United Airlines flight 175 crashing into the South Tower of the World Trade Center from at least 4 different angles and at various speeds...I watched a slow motion replay of United Airlines flight 77 as it struck the Pentagon at an incredible rate of speed, ending the lives of hundreds of everyday people in an instant...I watched as the World Trade Center Towers collapsed, first one, than the other - again and again and again - replaying the deaths of innocent thousands; as if anyone alive today can't remember that morning as if it were yesterday.

I don't need to be reminded how horrible that morning was and I don't need a recap of what happened the rest of that day; nor the weeks that followed or the months after that...I'm still living it, I've still got that memory fresh in my mind.

I don't know about you guys, but I think it's a little too soon for this kind of remembrance...Yes, maybe I am a little reactionary when it comes to remembering the dead by watching their deaths on a big screen TV over and over again. (sarcasm intended)

But I just can't help but feel that there is a better way to honor the deaths of our countrymen that doesn't involve reenactments and ratings.

What's next? BBQs on 9/11 Day?

My brother is going to help...

2005-09-06T09:27:00.000-07:00

Click to read my brothers blog and info about how to help his hurricane relief team.

Happy Birthday Baby

2005-09-02T15:42:00.000-07:00

2005-08-31T15:29:00.000-07:00

Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil for thou art with me, thy rod and thy staff; they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies; thou anointest my head with oil. My cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

Click here to help.

Sometimes I feel this way...

2005-08-30T12:51:00.000-07:00

And I really, really hope that the CIA isn't tracking how often I go to this website.

2005-08-23T14:12:00.000-07:00

I'm going to piss a lot of people off right now, but...I agree with him.

A Small Revenge

2005-08-22T10:47:00.000-07:00

The Bible says "Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good." and "Vengence is mine, Sayeth the Lord...", As well, Karma tells us that "What goes around - comes around"...

Chinese philosophy teaches through the Yin and Yang that all light and good has a perfectly opposite darkness and evil...And we are taught from the time that we are born that our actions, whether big or small, have equal and opposite reactions...In fact, the entire world seems to be telling us with every cycle of the moon and dawning of the sun that there is light and dark in every "thing."

Including us.

In my own life I have met many people that truly believed that if they were "good enough" and did enough "good things" that all of their bad deeds would be wiped away and they could die with a clean slate...as if all of the detached frog legs and moth wings could be reattached with Holy Ghost Super Glue and all of their bad deeds and evil thoughts could be wiped away with Jesus Christ's blood in a spray bottle...Is being good truly enough to reset the counter on the questionable things we have done and will do?

Can we, and more importantly, should we ignore, hide from and push down that dark side of our selves in an effort to boost our "Holiness"?

2005-08-15T16:43:00.000-07:00

AWESOME!

"I've got a fever and the only cure is more cowbell!"

The Great Cover Up, Upholstery For The Soul

2005-08-11T14:34:00.000-07:00

In my teen years while living in Santa Rosa I worked as an Upholsterers Apprentice...No, I did not wear a funny hat with stars on it and the furniture did not dance to the flick of my wrist or tempo of my staple gun.

Upholstery was a good job for me, I enjoyed it and I'd do it for a living if it paid enough money for anyone other than a starving kid or a greencard-less immigrant.

I'd gotten the job by being bored and in the right place and approximately two years ahead of the right time.
The owner of the upholstery shop was Danny Skiles, he and his brood went to my family's church...Anywho, Danny called my Dad on a hot summer afternoon to see if my older brother Jimmy and I would be able to help him deliver some furniture from his shop to a customers house...The reason he needed to hire some underage workers (ME) instead of using his own employees was because one of his guys had quit only days before to hit the road as a traveling musician (good luck to him) and the other employee had cut his hand wide open with a staple removing tool which was appropriately named "The Pig Sticker."

Either way, I soon found my 14 year old self in the back of a moving van trying not to get my grubby little hands all over the brand new golden-colored velvet that covered the antique sofa that I would soon be lifting with my 14 year old back.

I guess my Dad and Danny Skiles had conspired to make a man out of me by way of upholstery.

***

Quick tangent...Did you know that the majority of adult males in the upholstery industry over the last 30 years have learned the trade of upholstery while in prison for crimes requiring more than a 5 year term and social rehabilitation...So, I guess it was either making license plates or upholstery...I'm really glad that my loving Dad and a virtual stranger conspired to place me amongst convicts of ill repute to start me on my vaunted career path...Yeah for ME! I get to study prison tats and learn curse words in three different languages as well as the various plastic utensils that can be turned into lethal weapons using toilet paper and a comb! WHOOPEEE!
Tangent over.

***

Anywho, from that first afternoon forward I worked for Masters Touch Custom Upholstery as the Apprentice Upholsterer under the direction and tutelage of Danny Skiles and another guy named Danny...I forget the other Danny's last name, I only remember that he was around 60 years old and he was into motorbike racing and ballroom dancing...His favorite song was Lady In Red, he had a tattoo of an Eagle eating a snake on his left forearm and he hated Texas and everything, anything and anyone that came from Texas...I don't know why.

I learned from the movie Big Fish that you never start off a story that has a point by asking a question, I.E.: "Do you know what the thing is about Upholstery?"...Instead you're supposed to say: "The thing about upholstery is..."

So, the thing about upholstery is that when you get down to the form and function of upholstery; it's only good for one thing...Covering up old, dirty, worn-out materials with clean, new, stylish materials.

Upholstery is a cover-up of surface proportions meant to hide the skeletal frame and the thousand tiny nails and screws that hold it together...the springs, the cotton, even the cushions themselves would be totally naked and out of place if not held together by the fabric that most aptly described the feeling that the owner of the furniture was going for when they chose that rusty-orange corduroy monstrosity to cover that perfectly yet simply elegant antique loveseat...God help us all!

You see, upholstery may not seem like any big deal until you meet and get to know the people that are getting all of their furniture re-covered for each and every season and holiday...It's not re-upholstery to some of these people, it's re-birth...re-creation.

Take Peaches Scandini for example.

Peaches Scandini was the type of woman that had married and divorced enough wealthy men to make herself quite rich by the time she was pushing 40.
Peaches was our most loyal and eccentric customer and called the upholstery shop virtually every day of the workweek to see if new materials had arrived that she would like...You see, we knew what Peaches would like because Peaches only had her furniture covered in fabrics that shared the tonal quality of, you guessed it, a Peach.

Peaches Scandini had her entire mansion-full of furniture and tapestries recovered and/or remade in Peach-colored materials 4 to 5 times per year.
Peaches never seemed as happy as when she had her whole house remade in Peach tones...almost manically happy really.

I always felt like I was seeing Peaches Scandini from the inside-out when we re-upholstered her furniture. Peaches wore her need of recognition and acceptance on the outside like a suit and that need shown clearly to anybody who was paying attention...Peaches was a broken woman, she was worn-out and used-up, a woman in need of upholstery of the soul...and every time she got her possessions re-covered in materials that screamed for recognition and acknowledgement, that practically said out loud: "I am Peaches Scandini, please notice me, please pay attention to me...Please love me."; she must have felt that she was losing a little bit more of her self in the re-created, re-covered and re-upholstered facade that she had created of her life.
Peaches Scandini just wanted to start over, she wanted to re-cover her self.

How many times have we sought renewal of the material things that make us - us; when all that we really wanted was re-upholstery of the soul?

My Newest Hobby

2005-08-10T10:53:00.000-07:00

Like most of you, I'm always trying to find better uses for the internet than porn, c'mon, admit it.
My latest "find" of significance is Flickr!

I'm not much of a photographer but I do enjoy catching the odd snapshot of my dogs chewing on each others heads or the smiling face of my gorgeous wife.

Click here to see my Flickr site!

The Passion of the Shoelace Maker

2005-08-02T13:55:00.000-07:00

Let's see if I remember how this works...ah yes; I bare my soul - you comment.
How's about a quick catch up on what's current and a simple segue to the rest of this blog...OK?

Biggest recent change: I no longer lead worship for Mission Gathering Christian Church.

On that note and possibly related you might recall a post from a few months back where I left you all with a bitter taste in your mouths because I wouldn't/couldn't divulge what it was that was making me so upset, despondent, cranky and just pissy in general...well, prepare to be either disappointed again or entertained by a simple story...So, sit back and let me tell you a tale.

***Names, places, persons and hobbies have been changed to protect the innocent***

Once upon a time in the richest city in the world there lived a simple man with a great talent, his name was Becks and he was the greatest maker of quality shoelaces in the region.

Although Becks was the best at what he did; he never let the praise of his customers go to his head and he never put a price on his shoelaces that he believed was more than they were worth...in that way Becks could allow his passion for his work to speak for itself.

Becks had many customers that sought his quality shoelaces but humble as he was; he had never believed that he could make his passion for perfect shoelaces his livelihood...until one fine summer afternoon...

On that particular afternoon a local shoedesigner named Lil' Rick asked Becks to join him in the design and crafting of the greatest and most authentic shoe that could ever be.

Lil' Rick told Becks a tale of his master plan to design a shoe that would be totally new, like nothing that had ever been, comfortable but not confining, light but not lacking in quality and finally; this shoe was to be the only shoe that anyone would ever need for the rest of their lives.

When Becks did not immediately jump in excitement at Lil' Rick's plan, Lil' Rick began to tell Becks that he would soon be able to design shoelaces for his living rather than his hobby...Of course, this was Becks' dream!

Still, Becks was reluctant to join Lil' Rick in his grand scheme because Becks had tried before to design a better shoe with many different shoedesigners who'd all had great ideas of how to design the very best shoe. And though these shoe design experiences had jaded Becks; he was not one to ever give up on a good thing.

And so he agreed to join Lil' Rick.

Though Becks and Lil' Rick started out with poor materials and did not have many people that were anxious to try their newly designed shoe; they did not give up and Becks put his heart into his shoelaces more than ever.

Over time, Becks began to notice that Lil' Rick was not fulfilling his part of their originally agreed upon plan...though Becks' shoelaces were as full of quality as ever, the shoes that Lil' Rick was designing seemed to be designed to compete with Becks' shoelaces rather than to complement them and thus each other.

Becks began to wonder if Lil' Rick had ever really intended to co-design a shoe with him in the first place; or whether Lil' Rick was using Becks for his quality shoelaces just to keep Lil' Rick's shoes from falling off of the feet of the people that tried them on.

Every few months Lil' Rick seemed to pull Becks aside and encourage him to keep making his very best shoelaces because his dream of making shoelaces for a living was just around the corner; but only if Becks kept doing his very best.

Becks began to feel that Lil' Rick did not care at all about Becks passion and his gifts of creating shoelaces, and as time went on and Lil' Rick made empty promise after empty promise; Becks began to doubt that his passion was being used by Lil' Rick for the right shoes - or for the right customers.

Years passed...

There came a time in the great city when Lil' Rick became very popular among a few powerful people, these few people believed that Lil' Rick had in fact created the very best shoe that could ever be. Lil' Rick was thrilled to have his talent recognized and sought to further his area of sales and advertisement for his shoe design.

However great the amount of praise that Lil' Rick received for his shoe design; Lil' Rick did not share his praise, popularity or profit with Becks, even though Becks had helped to create the shoe that had become so beloved, even though Becks very own shoelaces were the very instruments that kept Lil' Rick's shoes from falling off of the feet of those that tried them on.

Becks began to ask himself: "How can a shoe be a shoe without shoe laces?"

Months passed...

Came a time when Lil' Rick told Becks: "I'm going to change the color of my perfect shoes and I will also add some pretty designs that will draw even more people to desire my shoes."
Becks thought this idea was fine and he said so: "That sounds fine, I'm sure the people will like these new ideas."

But then Lil' Rick told Becks to do the strangest thing...Lil' Rick said: "If you want to continue to make shoes with me you will have to change your shoelaces to the way I want them."

This was not something that Becks could understand and he thought to himself 'Why would Lil' Rick want to change my shoelaces? They are perfect the way they are exactly the way I make them...They complement Lil' Rick's shoes in every way and they keep his shoes from falling off of the people's feet!'

Becks was hurt by Lil' Rick's new ideas and he said so: "I don't understand, Lil' Rick, why would you want to change something that is just the way that it should be?"...Becks continued, hurt and confused..."If my shoelaces are fulfilling their purpose in every way and every customer that has ever used them has been more than happy; why would it ever be necessary to change them?"

Lil' Rick spoke softly and sweetly to Becks and told him that if he ever wanted to make shoelaces for a living he would have to do things the way that Lil' Rick wanted them.

Becks did not believe that this was any way to make authentic shoes.

At the end of the day Becks decided that his just-right shoelaces were no longer enough to please Lil' Rick and though all of those that bought Lil' Rick's shoes in the future may feel that something was missing; Becks felt that if his just-right shoelaces couldn't be seen for what they were than he would have to take his shoelaces elsewhere.

Today Becks makes his shoelaces for the people he loves, at home as a hobby.

Lil' Rick now uses velcro to keep his shoes from falling off of peoples feet.

And Becks lived happily ever after.

In my spider hole...

2005-07-11T11:01:00.000-07:00

So, yah, I've been absent...but to qoute David Lee Roth; "I don't feel tardy."

I haven't been blogging much because I've been trying to focus on writing more in one or more of the many writing projects I've gotten myself all excited about...who knows if I'll ever be published but I'd better at least try, right?

So, I say that to say this...I'll be back and I'll write more but for the time being click on any of the fantastic links that I've supplied for your WWWaste-Of-Time...time...(Author shrugs shoulders...sips orange juice.) Hmm, nothing like redundancy to make writing a joy.

Whirled Peas Everybody...Donaghy OUT!

No Tattoos For Jews?

2005-06-27T13:31:00.000-07:00

I found this article at www.inkedblog.com

***

The Biblical ban (on Jews getting Tattoos) is Leviticus 19:28 “You shall not make gashes in your flesh for the dead, or incise any marks on yourselves: I am the Lord.”

The general principal is that in the Jewish faith, the body belongs to God, and a person is simply borrowing it until s/he returns it in heaven.
A person violating this law was historically unable to be buried in a Jewish graveyard.

This decree has become more political since WW2. During the holocaust, Nazis tattooed numbers and letters on prisoners, knowingly violating Jewish code. Since then, tattoos in general have been a painful reminder for many Jews of the hideous atrocities that they suffered at that painful point in history.
The religious law banning the burial of tattooed Jews has since been abolished in the wake of the tattooed holocaust survivors, however; Jews with tattoos may be buried in most Jewish graveyards, though some still request laser surgery.

Currently, even though tattoos are still expressly forbidden by Jewish law, many Jews are both getting tattoos, and finding singular ways to express their Jewish heritage through unique religious tattoos.

***

Gotta love the ink!
Although I only have one tattoo currently (A Shamrock between my shoulder-blades and will be adding onto it) I am a big fan of folks that cover entire areas of their bodies with the art that they love.
Of course there are those that put no thought into their tattoos at all and end having random crap on their bodies that mean absolutely nothing to them or in general...too bad, so sad...what a bunch of tards. On the other hand, every once in a while I see some inkwork that really does take me aback and I'm amazed that these people have turned their bodies into walking art exhibits...wow.
I don't if I could ever justify spending that much money on ink as they, but I've sure considered it!

Any ink-wearers here?

Tell me what you've got by posting a comment...

Age: 28

2005-06-22T09:24:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday To Me.

Looking forward to seeing my family in the next few weeks

Today on my birthday; I fully intend to wear my birthday suit...hopefully while I'm at home where only the dags can laugh at me.

My wifey got me a PalmOne Tungsten T5 and the new Weezer CD - I'm very happy and increasingly more organized!

I'm convinced that we give gifts to each other on our birtdays because gifts distract from the tragedy that is Aging.

Yeah gifts! Boo Age.

I've gone Bruce Willis

2005-06-10T07:35:00.000-07:00

I don't think that I've ever kept the same hair style for longer than a few months...I don't know if I change my hair so often out of boredom or laziness. Either way, I like the change; it's refreshing.

Here's the thing, like the majority of the male population currently living on earth: I'm balding.
Damn it to hell.
Doctors say that male pattern baldness is hereditary and that it originates from your Mothers Father...BS.

If my particular "pattern" of baldness derives from anything or anyone it would have to be from my own father...I know this because I have the same funny looking continent-shaped bald spot that is slowly spreading across the crown of my head as well as the widows peaks that are steadily reaching further and further to the back of my head - exactly like my Dad's.

FYI - I don't really blame you Dad...I blame Adam for eating that damned apple.

For surely, one of the truths that Adam's eyes must have been opened to after he ate of the Fruit of the Knowledge of Good and Evil; must have been the fact that his hair was falling out at a rapid rate. Baldness equals Evil. IMHO.
E-vil, like the Fru-its of the De-vil.

Actually, I blame Eve.

Since I don't fancy myself a "comb over" type of fella; I'm happy to say that I've embraced the Bruce Willis Within and am fully comfortable with shaving the hair that is left until only a thin stubble remains.

Of course, to pull this look off I have to scowl constantly and scrunch my eyebrows together like I'm debating between punching you in the teeth after quipping with a smart-ass remark about seeing the dentist - or - jumping from a highrise building with nothing but a firehose to break my fall or pull me crashing through an office window a few floors from the roof I've just jumped from to avoid a heinous explosion. Wow! What an exciting hair cut!

Yippy Ki Yay Mother F(bleep)ker! (Sorry Mom)

I can’t help feeling that this change is for the better since I’ve received several compliments from my wife, workmates and pets…yes, they like it; as well as a comparison to one of the most famous of all head-shavers – David Beckham.

A special thanks now goes out to Annmarie for that…my ego is now super-inflated and I walk with a little bounce in my step, thank you, I’m thinking about getting back into Soccer since you said that…gotta warn you though, it probably won’t happen.

I might go so far as to say that Brad Pitt may look as good with his head shaved as I do, but…since Brad Pitt smells like a trash can (it’s true) and I smell like a fresh breeze blowing over the Old Spice factory…I’m not gonna say that.

That feels good...I officially have something that Brad Pitt does not…olfactory senses that tell me when I don’t smell too good.
Me: 1
Brad Pitt: 0

That being said; I'm quite happy with my new look and hope that I'm not too lazy to shave my pate on a regular basis in order to keep this look fresh.

Now if I could just work this belly off and have a six pack instead of a pony keg.
Maybe the new hair cut will inspire other changes...maybe not, probably not.

We'll see.

The Freedom to be Illiterate

2005-06-08T08:30:00.000-07:00

"In a recent meeting of the Board of Education in the city of Artichoke, Alabama, it was decided to ban the reading of Homer's 'Iliad' and 'Odyssey' in the classroom.
The grounds given for the exclusion of these towering masterpieces of ancient literature is that reading them in public school violated the First Amendment's guarantee of the separation of church and state.
Wallace Nobrainer, the attorney for the Artichoke school system, explained that the Homeric text 'should be looked upon in the same light as the reading of the Book of Psalms in a public school.' This sentiment is echoed by Debra Klewless, who chairs the Board of Education: 'We don't want taxpayer dollars being spent in order to proselyte children into praying to Zeus and Apollo.'"

Gotcha!

Lee Harris is the author of "Civilization and Its Enemies" - he is a rare contemporary philosopher with a sardonic sense of humor. His satirical passage is authentically Swiftian because it rings true with a crucial kernel of reality -- we truly have gone nuts in our fear of faith.

There is no Artichoke in Alabama, but Artichoke, like Swift's imaginary land of Lilliput before it, exposes contemporary society's absurd pieties and the size of the minds that begot them. Satire aside, the only thing that saves the Greeks as fit for the public schools is the fact that we regard their stories as myths. The glorious tales of Athena, Aphrodite, Hercules and Hermes inspired an earlier civilization of true believers, but they speak to 21st-century students within the limits of secular truths. If Judaism and Christianity were moribund like the Greek religions, their stories would no doubt be in the curriculum.

We need not worry about teenagers getting carried away with Dionysian orgies; Greek polytheism is dead. Fraternity beer parties serve the same ritual purpose, but they're secular and do not pretend to offer ethical lessons.
The Song of Solomon and the Sermon on the Mount, which have inspired creative genius for centuries, are denied to students in public high schools because the faiths from which they spring continue to thrive. "If we were all atheists," says Mr. Harris, "then the Bible would become as 'harmless' to read as the poems of Homer." But with true believers in our midst we keep Biblical wisdom hidden away lest it teaches ideas that a dead white male like John Milton gave the world.
If Milton had been educated in today's classrooms he'd have had no subject matter for "Paradise Lost" Most students don't read his epics because they can't understand the Biblical (and Greek) references.
Darwin, for all of his scientific details of the blue-footed boobies, finches and mockingbirds, never even came close to drawing an image as beautiful as Eve, as seductive as Delilah, as radiantly transformed as Mary Magdalene (known to cultural illiterates today only through the fictional "Da Vinci Code")

In the spirit of full disclosure, I confess to belonging to a generation of elementary school children who were asked each day to choose a psalm to read at the opening of class. I can still recite a few of them by heart. I never saw a child, atheist or otherwise, who suffered for it. Abraham Lincoln called the Bible "the best gift God has given to man," but he was self-taught. The Bible Literacy Project, a non-profit organization, has just published the result of a survey, conducted by Gallup, to answer the question: "What Do American Teens Need to Know and What Do They Know?" The sad answer is, they don't know much. "Substantial minorities lack even the most basic working knowledge of the Bible," and 40 of 41 teachers report that few pupils know enough Biblical references to qualify for "a good education."

No one proposes teaching the Bible as a sacred text or to promote religious faith in public schools. With three kinds of Jews, a dozen varieties of Methodists and countless flavors of Baptists, just for starters, we could never agree on what, exactly, should be taught as doctrine even if that's what we set out to do.
But in a less than perfect world there can be no harm, and a lot of good, in well-informed surveys of the Bible as literature, showing how the Bible has shaped history, philosophy, the law, art and other subjects, inspiring our earliest settlers, Founding Fathers, and Presidents unto the modern day. "It's a perfect reflection of the nation's origins that the very first freedom in the Bill of Rights should be religious freedom," writes David Gelernter in the Weekly Standard. It was never meant to be used "as a weapon against religion."

Unless, of course, you live in a place called Artichoke.

This is an op/ed piece written by Suzzane Fields for The Washington Times.

1931-2005

2005-06-08T07:22:00.000-07:00

Anne Bancroft

So, here's to you Mrs. Robinson, Jesus holds a place for those who pray

C.S. Lewis VS the "Soon To Be Model"

2005-06-02T09:23:00.000-07:00

I was perusing the Barnes & Nobles website for something new to read when I came across a section of works by C.S. Lewis.

There seems to be a lot of renewed interest in his works lately, maybe especially because of the great advertisements for The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe that are running right now in theaters. I have to say, it looks amazing and IÂm stoked!

IÂll try and see this adaptation of C.S. Lewis' amazing books on opening night if I can.

Although IÂve already read all of the Chronicles of Narnia, scraped every morsel of the story from the dog-eared pages of the books I borrowed from the library and can recount most of it from memory; I canÂt wait to start reading the series again.
I know IÂll be posting my thoughts on the books and movies right here in the coming monthsÂtheyÂre just that good.

Before I pick up the brand new box-set for the Chronicles of Narnia, IÂll probably pick up a copy of C.S. LewisÂ ÂThe Screwtape LettersÂ; which I have heard a great deal about but never had the time, desire or gumption to pick it up for myself.
To be honest; I never picked it up before now because I thought I wouldnÂt understand it.

The thing is that anybody that I've known that has read the Screwtape Letters usually came away with some sort of glowing truths or revealed personal mysteries or some kind of new knowledge of the spiritual worldÂhullo?
In the past I didnÂt think I would walk away with anything after reading this book but a headache and a shrug-o-the-shoulders...so I never picked it up...but, I think I'll be able to digest it fully now and hopefully I'll walk away with something too.

If I don't walk away with something new after reading the Screwtape Letters I'll shift the blame for my lameness and blame C.S. Lewis for writing a lame book. Just kidding Mr. Lewis.

While I was going through the Barnes & Nobles site for C.S. Lewis books I came across some customer reviews of the Screwtape Letters...almost all of the reviews were 4 and 5 star reviews with lots of exclamation points and smiley faces with review headings of "AMAZING!", "LIFE CHANGING!" and "C.S. LEWIS NEVER FAILS!" - So, all of these reviews were pretty over the top and I got the feeling that I had stumbled onto the C.S. Lewis Fanclub website...I'm not saying that I'm not a fan, just that I might not cheer so loudly...

Than I got a laugh out of the next review (which gave only one star) and thought I'd better post it here for you to read as well...

***
- A reviewer, a soon to be model, December 9, 2004,
- What are you talking about?

I have read only about 1/2 of this book and have no clue what is going on. He really needs to put this in English.

Also recommended: Harry Potter
***

A couple things come to mind when I read this review...
1. A "Soon To Be Model"?
2. A Soon to be Model that doesn't understand a book written by a literary genius?!?
3. A Soon to be Model that likes Harry Potter and Harry Potter alone!?!?!?
4. I especially like that the Soon to be Model suggested that C.S. Lewis rise from the grave and rewrite the Screwtape Letters so that a Soon to be Model can understand it...or as the Soon to be Moeloquently so eloguently "He really needs to put this in English."

Ahh, the Soon to be Model and the wisdom whence came from her...or him.
Tisk.

Memorial Day

2005-05-30T13:14:00.000-07:00

Still recovering from this past weekend...will tell stories soon...hopefully with pictures...

In the meantime, check out these recycled posts about those in the service of our great country!

Here and Here

Houdini in me

2005-05-24T08:29:00.000-07:00

My dad used to read stories to the family on random nights of the week, I loved it.

He'd rally all of us (5 boys, 1 girl and my loving mama) into the living room, have us sit down and be quiet, and just listen as he'd bring stories, characters and voices to life from the pages of impossibly large books that couldn't have been more intimidating to me than if they'd had snarling teeth and beady eyes. One of the things that my dad seemed to particularly enjoy was reading stories to us of Human Character. Whether the character in the story was actually human or not (often not), the stories all seemed to share a common theme; Struggle + perseverance = Victory and (sometimes) Redemption.

The Summer of the Monkeys is one book that my dad read to us from beginning to end.

I don't remember much about that book or the story, but what I do remember is that when the end of the story came; it was the first time I ever saw my dad cry.

There was a series of books about a warrior mouse named Matthias that lived in a place called Redwall.

I remember the stories of Redwall very well because I started sneaking the books away from my dads bookshelf so that I could read ahead and find out what happened next before dad could read the next chapter to the rest of the family. I loved when dad read the Redwall stories outloud because he'd try his best to make up individual voices for the plethora of characters in the stories. Here's a visual for you...imagine Grisly Adams squinting at the pages of a children's book and talking like Kermit the Frog, on purpose.

Good times indeed.

When I was a little older my dad and I started reading a book series together.

The Richard Sharpe series. The subject matter was a little more advanced (read: mature) than Redwall and Summer of the Monkeys; mostly because the Sharpe series was mostly about the Napoleonic Wars. But again, the resounding theme was Struggle, perseverance, Victory and (sometimes) Redemption.

From the Sharpe series I went on to read just about anything I could get my hands on...from Historical and Pre-Historical Epics to Modern-day Mysteries, Thrillers and Horror stories and on to Science Fiction that tested the borders of my mind...I couldn't get enough.

So, I love to read, woopadeedoo! Why am I telling you. Right?

Here's the thing, ever since my dad started to read these stories out loud to the family, I've never looked at a book in the same way. I've trained myself to dive completely into the world that I'm reading about and immerse myself in the characters, the times they live in and experiences they are going through. It's cool, and I enjoy it...but I think that I may have become a bit obsessed.

I've turned in to somewhat of an escape artist; a Harry Houdini of Literature if you will.

I've only recently realized this escapism about myself within the last several years of my adult life. Mostly during times when reality was so unavoidably overwhelming that I simply had to escape in order to maintain some control over my own attitude and how I reacted to what was going on around me. Being Irish, I have one major downfall. Temper. It must be genetic. And since I'm not a millionaire with a leer jet at my beck and call; I would escape into the pages of a book and live my life vicariously through someone else who did not have my concerns and trials, my desires and beliefs nor my convictions.

Liberating though it may have been to see life through someone else's eyes; I'm afraid that I may have missed out on some of the adventures and experiences that awaited me had I only opened my eyes and taken advantage of my own life story rather than constantly trying to escape.

But, maybe that's not completely fair...I have lived a great life thus far and I have very few complaints worth mentioning. I guess I'm just saying that maybe I shouldn't be so anxious to escape into the pages of a book when life is beckoning, whatever that beckon may be.

It's not as if my own life is so boring when I sit down and actually think about it, in fact; I've had a great time!

I have set out on my own and spread my wings with no safety net beneath me, I have hit rock bottom and clawed my way back to the top, I've walked for miles and miles and miles. I've been to a far off land made of Fire and Ice and been the foreigner that stood out like a sore thumb. I've fallen from the sky with nothing but a silk sheet in a backpack to break my fall, I've swam in the ocean, slid in the snow, jumped into rain puddles and hid from hail and sleet that flew sideways. I've driven my car until it ran out of gas just to see how far I could go on "E".

I've stood before thousands and bared my soul in heartfelt song and sung love songs of devotion for an audience of one. I have fallen in and out of love and I've felt the pain of betrayal from the closest of friends. I've cried bitter tears and laughed until I cried. I have rescued some and have been rescued by others. I've lost myself, found myself and gotten lost again.

I've found someone I can love that loves me back and I married her.

Now, I'm sure that someday soon I'll sit down with my own children and read out loud to them and pass along the joy of a well told story (with funny voices) and I'm sure that my kids will find their own ways to make ends meet and cope with all that life throws at them. I'm also sure that I won't stop reading and enjoying the tales written out by others, but...I think that I might try and focus more on my own adventures than trying to escape into the pages of a book.

Hey, even Houdini took time off.

Yo = Hi

2005-05-20T08:59:00.000-07:00

Hey bloggies, it's your blogger here with an important announcement...

I am really, really, going to try and make this my last Star Wars related post...I've been having a lot of fun with the topic because of all the hype and circumstance right now but I don't want to scare any of my regular blog readers away or make you think that all I'm ever going to write about is sci-fi...no worries;) It's all gooood.

Click here to read the personal blog of Darth Vader. The Darth Side: Memoirs of a Monster. Or, click here to see something truly amazing...And finally, click here for a hilarious outtake from one of my favorite comedians stand-up shows.

In the meantime, Keep on blogging in the free world.

How Lightsabers Work

2005-05-17T07:26:00.000-07:00

Chances are that you have seen a lightsaber at one time or another, whether on the evening news or down at the local cantina. Therefore you know that a lightsaber is an amazing and versatile device that is able to cut through nearly anything in a matter of milliseconds. The big advantage of using a lightsaber, of course, is that you can both cut and toast the bagel in one stroke.

Have you ever wondered how these remarkable weapons work?
Where does the energy come from, and how are they able to contain that energy in a rod-like column of glowing power?

In this edition of HowStuffWorks, you will have a chance to look inside a lightsaber and discover the source of its incredible characteristics.

I have a Purple Lightsaber.
Purple is associated with wisdom, dignity,
independence, creativity, mystery, and magic.
Purple denotes high spirituality and religious
aspiration. Purple also represents Peacefulness
and Purification. It also has a sense of
intuitive understanding and a feeling of
intimacy with the world.

What Colored Lightsaber Would You Have?

The Destiny of TK421 and the Linear God of our Fathers

2005-05-16T11:40:00.000-07:00

30 years ago,

In the San Francisco Bay Area,

A nerd-ish type of fellow named George told us a story,

It was a fictional, fantastical, mystical, theological story,

...A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...

During the first 15-20 minutes of Star Wars, A New Hope we are immersed in a seemingly endless and immense galaxy where anything and everything is possible; where any choice that is made is not only the correct choice but is destined. We learn that Luke, a simple farm boy on a forgotten planet, yearns for something greater than what he sees before him, he knows that there is more out there for him…but it seems that all he can do is complain about his current circumstances.
Though the story being told to us seemed hugely unbelievable, totally foreign and incomprehensible in any way resembling reality; if we’d been paying attention, we’d have known the ending of the saga from the first feature.

All of the signs were there for us to see what the meaning of the story was in the first place; thru Luke Skywalker the Force would achieve balance; whether Luke liked it or not.
This was, after all, Luke's destiny.
(Insert heavy breathing and James Earl Jones villainous chuckle here.)

The story is just that linear; it could have no other outcome.

Linear is one of those words that is either a comfortable part of your common-day language or is a foreign describer that borders on Latin-based hooey; the division being whether you understand the value of the word or not.

Linear is described in the dictionary as follows…
- Of, relating to, or resembling a line; straight.
- In, of, describing, described by, or related to a straight line.
- Having only one dimension.
- Characterized by, composed of, or emphasizing drawn lines rather than painterly effects.
- Narrow and elongated with nearly parallel margins: a linear leaf.

Luke’s linear life had begun and ended before he even knew what was going on, he couldn’t change his destiny even though he was nearly killing himself to find out what his destiny was.

Sure a lot of little things happened along the way…I.E. His Uncle Owen and Aunt Veru were slaughtered by a bunch of whitey-tightey-wearing-squawk-boxers on a bender, his arm was cut off and flushed down a gigantor-sized funnel in the clouds, and his true father was revealed to be the most evil warlord in the galaxy…oh yeah, and he made out with his sister.

But all of these interesting and terrible things that happened were all secondary and tertiary to the over all story that was unfolding before our eyes…In this seemingly endless galaxy; Luke could no more avoid his destiny than he could have known its ultimate destination from the time that he purchased a couple of rundown droids for his crabby moisture-farming Uncle.

There is something both comforting and upsetting about the linear-ness of the Star Wars saga…Comforting because, out of this incredibly complex story, we know what’s going to happen…
Upsetting because we know it’s going to end, and that the end has already been determined.

I think that if I were Luke I may have bucked at the responsibility that was being thrust on me by the universe that I’d just discovered…I mean, hullo?
So, I have to reestablish a dead religion and save the galaxy one planet at a time? Obi-Wan, one more time…why me? It’s my destiny?!? Damn, you got me there.

I’ve had a real problem lately with the way that I see God being represented by his followers…I actually shouldn’t say lately, it’s been an ongoing kind of pisser for me for about the last 28 years. It’s hard to put my finger on the reasons behind my general crankiness in this area of my life but I’m going to try and nail down a couple of the things that I am becoming aware of, even as I write this.

In much the same way that the Star Wars story is linear and pretty much one dimensional (on the surface); people, calling themselves Christians have turned a multi-dimensional, all-encompassing God and his plan for creation into a confusing, massively understated and often contradictory story of a Human-Thinking-Deity trying to fix something that he created a long time ago that somehow got broken along the way by our selfishly stupid ancient ancestors...Bummer.

You’ve heard the story and have likely been approached by someone on the street trying to cram it down your throat…God creates man, man F’s it up, God dies so that man can go to Heaven.
This story of “God’s plan for Man” is all presented in this tidy little packaged story that’s supposed be Soooo attraaaactive that any random person going about their day will be overcome with a desire to totally rearrange their lives and become completely different people that care about new things and suddenly have a connection to the creator of the universe where before they only had a connection to a bong named Bill…Something is getting lost in the telling of this story.

All of my life I’ve heard a very linear and firm salvation story where the outcome is that if I believe and follow the story to its conclusion I will be “Saved” and will go to Heaven…and from the point of view of those that told me the story; it seems that their chief concern was that I get “saved”, get others “saved” and go to Heaven when I die.

And that's about it.

I think that what's getting lost is the context of the presentation, the presence of mind, and the motivation behind the telling of this story. I think that we could all learn something from the Star Wars story.

I believe that George Lucas understands the principle of telling a story for a reason, a purpose that is beyond the telling of the story alone. I’m also pretty sure that in his own way George Lucas has explained salvation through God (The Force), redemption of the soul (Darth Vader turning against the Dark Side), and the battle between good and evil in the most visual, understandable and all-encompassing model yet presented…BUT 99.9% of the people that have seen this story unfold have missed the very straightforward way that George Lucas has told us a story about an all-powerful, all-dimensional, all-knowing God that wants to know us, move in and around us and wants for us to know Him/Her/It - GOD.

On the surface and taken at face value the Star Wars story is very linear…Farm boy wants adventure, farm boy get sucked into a galactic battle to save the universe, farm boy realizes he’s meant for more and eventually saves the galaxy and restores order.
Underneath this story though there is a story being told that is a virtual parallel of the salvation story…maybe not line for line but it’s all in there.

I know that I’ve probably lost about 80% of my blog readers by this point in the post but stick with me.

I guess it’s just a little bit more than depressing to me that I’ve learned more about God and how he moves from Star Wars than I have from supposed people of God. Well intentioned though they may be.

I haven’t had one conversation with a follower of Christ where I felt like I was being told anything more than the company line…and the company line just isn’t enough anymore to sell this particular bill of goods…in other words, simply being an enthusiastic Satan-proof sales person or professional salvation-merchant just isn’t enough…you’ve got to care as well, you’ve got to know the product, use the product and love the product. You’ve got to give contextual information and background, success stories and failure-turned-to-victory stories. You’ve got to give a reason to yearn and you’ve got to commit to follow-up that is more than just a casual embrace and a “God bless you.”

Please understand that I know my self pretty well by this point in my life and I realize that I am much better at pointing out areas that need creative improvement than I am at providing actual solutions. I just think we can try a little harder is all I’m saying.

That being said; I know that I’m making a stretch here with the whole Star Wars thing, but it’s valid and worthwhile and ripe for discussion…Anakin Skywalker turns to the dark side this week and becomes Darth Vader and we’ll all be tempted to watch the whole thing all over from the beginning again…all I ask is that we look to the deeper meaning of the Force and allow God to speak to us through the vision of a prophet/preacher/teacher named George Lucas.

You may now proceed to tear my blog to shreds and tell me why I’m an idiot.

Australians and Shoddy Workmanship

2005-05-13T13:23:00.000-07:00

I remember trying to stuff all of my nickels, quarters and dimes into the pocket on my Roos, and running to the corner store to buy Big League chewing gum. (Grape, of course.)

By the time I got to the store all of my money had fallen out of the pocket.

Ben got no gum. Ben sad. Ben still mad at Roos.

A Real Soldier - A righteous Man

2005-05-09T07:21:00.000-07:00

My wife was out of town this past weekend with some of her girlfriends...which means that I was at home, with the Dogs, the TV and the Whiskey.

So, I watched a lot of really bad TV over the weekend, like you do, mostly bad sci-fi; one of which was a movie called Soldier with Kurt Russell.

Now I would never get away with watching more than 2 minutes of this kind of movie if my wife were in the same room because she would demand that we watch something with less-of a retardation factor, of course we would then flip over to MTV for a Real World-Road Rules Challenge or to VH1 for yet another re-run of I Love 1982!...and I don't know how this is less retarded than a futuristic Kurt Russell who was raised from birth to be the perfect soldier on distant planets - but anywho, back to Soldier.

Here's a fun fact about the movie that I especially enjoy...Kurt Russell signed the contract for the movie soldier with one stipulation added by his agent; that Kurt Russell would be paid somewhere in the neighborhood of $144,000.00 per word spoken in the film. Sounds like a hell of a deal right?!

Turns out that when the movie was all said and done Russell only speaks about 4 times in the movie and utters less than 3 words each time he opens his mouth...all in all I'd say that Russell took home less than a million dollars total...I will now take this moment to imitate Nelson from the Simpsons and say "Ha-Ha".

The main storyline is pretty Saturday morning cartoon-ish when it comes right down to it...

There's the main character played by stoney-faced Kurt Russell, who is the perfect soldier, trained from childhood in a futuristic world to be everything that a futuristic marine needs to be.

Then there's the villain and his crew who are out to replace Russell's character and his fellow soldiers with some brand new genetically enhanced soldiers that are ten times more efficient and capable in almost every way....anyhow, a battle ensues over the course of the movie and Russell's tired old character ends up prevailing over the younger, more powerful soldiers sent to replace him and his comrades...the reason that Russell's character prevailed over the stronger, faster soldiers was of course that Russell's character had heart, soul and all of the ideals in mind that make a soldier worthy of a salute.

But, honestly, it's just a movie...big deal, right?

I didn't think about that movie or this post until this morning when I got to work, flipped on my computer and checked the news sites to make sure that the rest of the world hadn't blown up while I was sleeping...

That was when I came across this story...

Short story made shorter: A photographer captured the picture you see below after a group of terrorists drove bomb-laden cars through a crowded alley/street where several adults were doing business and 20 or more children were playing...the trucks plowed through the children, set off the bombs and killed almost everyone in the alley.

The picture shows Major Mark Bieger carrying one of the children struck by shrapnel and debris...the photographer said that Major Bieger was one of the the first on the scene and that he ran and started picking up children without any regard for his own safety...the picture shows Major Bieger holding an Iraqi girl close to his chest as he carries her away from the area of the blast...what the photo does not show that the photographer reported was that Major Bieger's eyes were streaming with tears of anger, frustration and sadness and that he was crying out loud as he carried that little girl to a relative safety.
It was reported later that the little girl died in Major Bieger's arms a few hours later.

I told you the story about the movie with Kurt Russell and the story about Major Mark Bieger to tell you why I believe that righteous men will always prevail over evil...

Because righteous men will always place themselves in harms way to protect the innocent, to protect life and to uphold decency...regardless of whether or not those that they are protecting request or desire their protection. Righteous men have heart and they were it on their sleeves. Righteous men have the moral high ground and that moral high ground demands that they deny themselves for the service and protection of others.

Terror comes in many forms and severities and is represented by many nationalities, if not all, at one time or another.

The true test of righteousness is how we will respond to that terror and how we will conduct ourselves in the face of pure evil.

I hope that I am never required to take up arms to protect that which I believe is worth protecting; but I hope that if I am required to do so, I will do it with the example of Major Mark Bieger in mind.

Rock meet Hardplace, Hardplace this is Rock

2005-05-04T14:11:00.000-07:00

There are deep rumblings in my life right now.

The ground shaking kind of rumblings that almost require you to reconsider a lot of the things that you've held as foundational and real. Truthfully, I've been here before, by now it's pretty familiar, but unfortunately, my foreknowledge of this sort of discombobulation does not make the dealing with it any easier.

I'm not in a place right now where I am ready to impress on you the details and worries of my present-day-life and the rumblings that are troubling me but I'd like to ask that you read the post that I wrote called "You've got to do something or else" which will give you a general knowledge of why I say that I've been here before.

For now, I can tell you what the rumblings are not, cool?

- Not, my married life...Linds and I are grand.

- Not, my faith...hard quesitons abound but that's par for the course.

- Not, my workaday-joe-job...I don't like it; but it's survivable.

- Not, my friendships...well, not all of the my friendships anyhow.

- Not, my health...the ticker is ticking just fine, cholesterol is a little high though...hmmm.

- Not, my incredible good looks...Brad Pitt who?

So, I'm not being very forthcoming, deal.

I will tell you all eventually what the problem is and how I dealt with it, but I won't be able to say anything specific until the sh*tstorm has passed...for the time being I need to bite my tongue...ouch.

In the meantime, I'd loooove to know that I'm not all alone in this crapbox shakespearean drama-fest...Anybody got any juicy stories they can share that'll take my mind off of how much it sucks to be me right now?

Life Imitates Life

2005-05-02T14:04:00.000-07:00

We know the results of certain actions...

We know the warning signs that precede the results, and we know that the results of our actions may be unpleasant...

But we go ahead and do it anyway.

It's just not the way I remember it

2005-04-29T10:17:00.000-07:00

When I was in my early-to-mid teens I was a full blown cycling-enthusiast or what should have been called a "Cyclo". (Insert Violin screeching "Psycho" music here)
Yes, I wore the tight black spandex shorts. Laugh all you want, at least I had a nice ass.

Back when I was riding and racing all the time I was in great shape, probably the top physical condition of my life so far, which means probably the best shape I will have ever been in by the time I die...sad. In fact, I was in such great shape that my body just didn't respond to the kind of physical abuse then that would put me in a coma today.
I know this for a fact and will explain why shortly.

Before that though, here's a little perspective for you...

During this time in my life I lived in Santa Rosa, California - which is in the heart of Sonoma County, also known as "The Wine Country", but what should be called "Cyclists Paradise"...it's no mistake that Greg Lemond and Lance Armstrong (both multi Tour de France winners) both train in the off-season in Sonoma County among the redwood smothered mountains and rolling hills covered by rows and rows of wine-bearing grape fields...it's just perfect that way.

On any day that allowed me the time to do so - I would take my bike (and my little black shorts) and go for long, long rides...what I would call "Extended Training Exercises" - but what really should have been called "Testing the Limits of the Human Body."
One of my favorite rides was to start at my home in Santa Rosa and head out to the coast by back roads and bike trails laid over old railroad tracks...this ride was approximately 3 to 4 hours roundtrip with no rests or breaks during the ride. There were uphills that would make your body ache just to look at...The downhill’s were straight out thrill rides or terrifying near-death experiences depending on your taste for excitement, hitting 50 to 60 miles an hour on a downhill was not out of the ordinary - it was expected. This was the kind of ride that would have Lance Armstrong repeating his mantra of Live Strong to keep himself going harder and doing better.

I loved it.
It was my life and I wanted it to be my profession. I was well on my way.

I was on my way home from an early evening ride when I was hit by a car, a Monte Carlo to be exact. The car had passed me on the downhill slope of a major city street and the driver hadn't seen me. So when the driver made a right hand turn into a shopping center and pulled directly into my path I was left with no option but to hope that I would not die.
When I hit the passenger side door of the car I was going about 30 miles an hour. My bike crumpled like an accordion beneath me. By the time my shoulder and head hit the car door; my bike was being drawn beneath the still moving car by the built up inertia that was slowly being stopped by American made steel. By the time that the driver knew that he needed to stop; my bike (with me still attached to it) had been sucked underneath the car and was very close to getting run over by the rear wheel of the car.

My bike was crinkled and crushed like an hour old beer can at a frat party. My body was one great big strawberry'd, skinned-up, oozing mess. My bike helmet had probably saved me from any brain damage, as evidenced by the crack that ran down the middle of the helmet and the man-sized dent in the side of that damned Monte Carlo.

I was fine after it was all said and done, I survived.
I didn't have any permanent damage to my body. There were a few scars and abrasions that would make for good story telling later in life, and I had gained a healthy respect for American made automobiles. (Which may be why I only buy American-Made)

The one negative side effect of the altercation between me and the Monte Carlo was that I lost my nerve for racing and riding. I lost the passion for it by default and stopped riding almost completely.

I told you that story to tell you this one...

This whole week I've been on vacation with my wife.
We didn't go anywhere; we just stayed home and hung out with each other and our dogs. No work, no phone calls, no appointments - it's been sweet.
A few days into the vacation the weather was nice enough for me to go on a bike ride, and since I bought a new bike several months ago and hadn't really had a chance to break it in; this would be the perfect opportunity for me to get back into cycling.

Now, in my mind when I think of riding a bike I don't think of neighborhoods full of BMX-riding punks nor do I think of paper-routes in the early hours of the day. I think of throbbing muscle, gritted teeth, sweat, blood and even some tears.
When I think cycling, I think work - Fun, but still, work.
What I neglected to think about when I hopped onto the saddle that fine morning was that I hadn't gone on a serious ride since the Monte Carlo incident which happened nearly ten years ago.

- What I was thinking was, today is a great day for me to get back into cycling.
- What I should have been thinking was, today is a great day for me to start getting back into shape so that I can even think about getting back into cycling.

The route that I intended to take was one that would include some of the same type of terrain that I used to rule and reign over - uphills, downhill, technical, grueling...the whole thing. The whole route was maybe 12 miles roundtrip and in my mind would take me less than 35 minutes to complete...No problem.

Big problem.
About halfway through the first 6 miles of the ride there is a small park that sits at the top of a small hill across from an old-folks home that looks like a Spanish castle and adjacent to a beautiful land preserve where wild deer and small chirping birds make there home...It's picturesque to say the least.

I did not notice the beautiful sites that surrounded me because I was near death.
By the time I reached the top of the hill my breathing was so harsh and forced that my lungs felt like they were on fire. My head was swimming, I was sweating buckets, my eyes were blurry, my ass ached, my hands were cramped, my shoulders were in knots and my legs had the rubbery feeling that should only be felt after you've been working out for several hours...I'd only been riding for about 13 minutes. That was when it occurred to me that this was not the way that I remembered feeling all those years ago. This was not cycling; this was work - not fun, just work. This was about the same time that I realized that I hadn't brought any water bottles and had no money to stop at a store to buy any drink that had electrolytes or hydro-imminos or what-ever-the-hell their called now. I was dehydrated to the inth-degree and was starting to feel the effects of a heat stroke...This was definitely not the way I remembered it.

I pulled into the little park and pointed my bike in the general direction of the first water fountain I could spot which was next to a tiny baseball field.
Wearily I got off my bike and stumbled toward that water fountain only to find that some wise-ass had pushed a wad of chewing gum down the spigot of the water fountain...I'd never wanted to beat up a little leaguer so badly in all my life.
When I finally scraped enough of the petrified gum away from the spigot to where water would spurt out I leaned down to sip the water and knew from the swirling vortex before my eyes that I was very close to blacking out.

And so, out of a sense of desperation and self-preservation I put my mouth to the spigot and sucked as hard as I could on the little bit of water that was coming out...
Thank God there was no one there to see the spectacle that I had become - Oh Wait! That's right, there were people watching, A Lot Of People...Dozens in fact. Old people out walking there miniature poodles and pugs and Pomeranians, suburban soccer moms out with other suburban soccer moms for a brisk morning walk around the park in their matching little sweat suits designed by J-Lo - or as I like to call her; Jenny from the block, there were also two off-duty or on-break firemen who were having a great-ole-time walking around the tiny baseball field talking about how much they were looking forward to their shifts being over so they could head home and crack-a-brew.

So, there I was.
Beet-red, sweating like I just circled the sun in fur-lined cold-weather survival gear, about to pass out, sucking on the spigot of a little league water fountain in my little black spandex shorts for all the world to see. The situation was dire. Dire.
The old people and their miniature animals eventually faded into the background, the soccer moms headed off to whatever PTA meeting they had scheduled and I was left alone with the water fountain and the ever-circling, ever-shorts-and-boots-wearing, ever-mustache-bearing, ever-chuckling-out-loud; Firemen.
I really should have asked those guys for oxygen but my pride couldn't bear it.

30 minutes later I was lying flat on my back in the grass next to the baseball field when I realized that I would not be able to make it back home under my own power...I swallowed what was left of my pride and called my wife on my cell phone..."Baby, could you come pick me up?" - the hardest 7 words I've said this whole week.
When my wife pulled into the park and got out to help me stow my bike in the back of the truck I thought to myself, "Well, it can't get much worse, at least I didn't pass out." - of course at that same moment the two firemen rounded a corner and saw me packing it in with the help of my wife and I guess that they just couldn't resist but to make a comment just loud enough for me to hear. I think they said something about catching the bus home or getting bailed out by the old lady or something to that effect...It was all the same to me, it had officially just gotten worse. Now I was catching a rash-o-shit from a couple of guys that could've doubled for Magnum P.I.
I was ready to call it a day and never leave my house on a bicycle again.

You know, when people say "You Can Never Go Back"; I usually take it to mean that I can't go back and undo the mistakes I've made or go back and say the right thing rather than the wrong thing, the best compliment rather than the gentle jibe that turned into the fight from hell.
But, I guess "You Can Never Go Back" can also be taken as a warning that my body isn't made of steel like it was when I was 5 years old - when no fall, thump or bump could ever hurt for longer than 1 minute...A warning that my metabolism isn't as fast as it used to be and that beer and steak from last night is actually sticking to my ribs and gifting me with the waistline of Homer Simpson and not the six-pack of Brad Pitt...A warning that my desire to jump on a bike and feel the same sense of exhilaration that I did 10 years ago does not outweigh the reality that the last 10 years of my life have been spent on the discipline of my spirit and not the discipline of my body and that going back, now, can not, in fact, be done.

So, I won't be going back.
I'll try and go forward, I'll try and get my body to a place where it won't die when I need it to be strong. I'll determine in my mind to make an effort at being the best I can be now.

Our spiritual journeys feel this way sometimes don't they?

At times we look back at our lives and think "I'd really love to feel that way now." or "I'd really like to feel God now - the way I did then."
The difference here is that where as we can not go back physically and be in the same shape we were in several years ago, we can not go back and right a wrong or change a situation so that the outcome will be better. We just can't do it. "You Can Never Go Back" is true in this aspect, we can't.
But it's not that way with God, the lifespan of our spirituality is not bound be the laws that our physical bodies are and God doesn't know what "You Can Never Go Back" even means - God says you don't have to go back, you're right there...you always have been. There's no spiritual exercise that can build enough spirit muscles to make it easier to communicate with God and feel his presence, it just doesn't work that way. No amount of repentance for past-wrongs will make it easier either, because God isn't looking at our past-wrongs as reasons to shun us but as reasons to love us and forgive us...and our past-wrongs have no bearing on whether or not God is far or near from us...he's never been further from us than the air in our lungs.

So, we can go back.
But do we really want to do that? Would that be the best answer?
Rather than going back and seeking out a past-experience or a past-hope; shouldn't we strive to go forward and let all things in Christ be new to us and fresh...like it's the first time, every time?
Is that possible?

I thought I had to be perfect

2005-04-19T13:11:00.000-07:00

I’ve been reading an excellent book by Rabbi Harold S. Kushner; it’s called How Good Do We Have to Be? I’ve been getting a lot out of it and recommend Kushner highly if you are looking for some uplifting reading.

Kushner does a great job of taking a smorgasbord of material and subject matter and drawing a neat conclusion from it; and I seem to get more knowledge comfortably from that kind of teaching than just someone pointing out Point A and Point B, I want to know what happens at Point A.1 and Point A.9, know what I mean?

In How Good Do We Have to Be? the author uses the Garden of Eden as a jumping point and builds each chapter from what is happening during Adam and Eves’ lives in the Garden, the choice to eat the much-debated fruit and their subsequent exit from the garden and their journey thereafter.

I Thought I Had to Be Perfect

***
The first thing that happens to Adam and Eve when they enter the world of knowing good and evil is that they feel shame at the experience of having their misbehavior exposed. Their nakedness is a symbol, a physical manifestation of their being seen when they would rather not be seen. Freud theorized that the nearly universal dream of finding ourselves in public only partially dressed is a symbolic expression of our fear that if people examined us closely, they would judge us inadequate.
Rather than guilt “We have done something we should not have done”, they feel shame; “We are being judged as bad people”. Just as adolescents are exquisitely self-conscious that everyone is looking at them and judging their looks, their clothes and their hair.

Adam and Eve, so new to the world of being grown-up humans, have the sense of being exposed and evaluated. In the biblical image, they realize that they are naked and seek to cover themselves. Before they ate from the Tree of Knowledge, the Bible makes a point of telling us, they were as naked as the rest of the animals and like the animals they felt no shame, but once they rose above the animal level and came to understand that some things are right and others wrong, they gained a sense of self-consciousness, a sense of being held to a standard in a way that no other animal is.

It is not that being naked was immoral, rather that a person with a sense of morality knows the feeling of being scrutinized and judged.

When Charles Darwin shocked the nineteenth century world his theory that human beings and apes had a common ancestry, someone asked him whether there was still anything unique about the human being. Darwin answered, “Man is the only animal that blushes.” That is, human beings are the only creatures capable of recognizing between what they are and what they can be expected to be, and of being embarrassed by that gap.

We tend to use the words guilt and shame more or less interchangeably, as synonyms for feeling bad about ourselves. But psychologists and anthropologists see them as different emotions. Basically, they see guilt as feeling bad for what you have done or not done, while shame is feeling bad for who you are, measured against some standard of perfection or acceptability.

The distinction is crucial, because we can atone for the things we have done more easily than we can change who we are. But human nature being what it is, we move so easily from one to the other. We hear criticism of something we have done, and translate it into a comment about what sort of person we are. We assume it is our worth as a person, not just our behavior that is being judged and found wanting.

When religion teaches us that one mistake is enough to define us as sinners and put us at risk of losing God’s love, as happened to Adam and Eve in the traditional understanding of the story, when religion teaches us that even angry and lustful thoughts are sinful, then we all come to think of ourselves as sinners, because by that definition every one of us does something wrong, probably daily.

If nothing short of perfection will permit us to stand before God, than none of us will.

Under that definition of sin, our lives will be dominated by feelings of guilt and fear, guilt for the mistakes we have made, and fear of making yet another one. And guilt and fear don’t bring out the best in anyone. They drain the joy out of life and make us unpleasant companions.

But when religion teaches us that God loves the wounded soul, the chastised soul that has learned something of its own fallibility and its own limitations, when religion teaches us that being human is such a complicated challenge that all of us will make mistakes in the process of learning how to do it right, then we can come to see our mistakes not as emblems of our unworthiness but as experiences we can learn from; we will be brave enough to try something new without being afraid of getting it wrong. Our sense of shame will be the result of our humility, our learning our limits, rather than our wanting to hide from scrutiny because we have done badly.

On the Divine Feminine Character of God

2005-04-19T10:36:00.000-07:00

There's a very interesting conversation going on at Jimmy's blog Culture Driven Life about the many names of God in Hebrew, and one name in particular - El-Shaddai - which speaks to the feminine quality of God in that He/She/God nurtures us as a mother would a child - With Breasts.

I don't think that Jimmy knew that his innocent forray into discovering the meaning of Gods names would lead to such a great discussion as the one that insued in the comments and other blogs that are now involved in this discussion and discovery of God and his multi-faceted character of love and grace.

See the original article and comments here and other blogs and potential books starting up because of the article here.

White Smoke

2005-04-18T14:43:00.000-07:00

Crawdad Fishing and the Death of the American Church

2005-04-05T11:03:00.000-07:00

When I was around 8 or 9 years old I went Crawdad fishing with my older brother Jimmy and his friend Scott. Just like every other day that summer, we were going to go Crawdad fishing at the creek that was near our house and afterward we were going to try and find a pool to sneak into and take the sting out of the California sun.
The creek that we craw-fished at didn't have a name, we just called it "The Crick"...In fact I'm pretty sure in looking back that it wasn't a creek at all - but a muddy-hole in the middle of a swampy field that smelled like raw sewage...Either way, "The Crick" had Crawdads in it, and I wanted to fish 'em out and eat 'em up. Like you do.
***
Here's a little perspective for you city folks that have never heard of Crawdads or had the pleasure of fishing for their kind...

- Crawdads are Freshwater crustaceans, they are also called Crayfish, Crawfish, Crawdaddies, Creek Crabs, Mud Bugs, Fresh-Water Lobsters, Spoondogs and/or Yabbies if you're from Australia. Crawdads look like very small lobsters with too-big claws...they are mud-dwellers that eat water-bugs, small fish...and, well...mud.
- The best way to catch Crawdads is to tie a piece of fatty meat (preferably rotten Corned-Beef) to a string, stand on the banks of "The Crick" and dangle the meated-string in the murky water until you feel a nibble...pull up the string, hold the dangling Crawdad over a bucket of "clean water" and start jerking the string up and down until the sucker lets go and drops into the bucket.
- The best way to eat Crawdads is to heat a frying pan filled with garlic-butter to a simmer...simply drop the Crawdads into the simmering liquid and watch 'em sputter. On a technical note, Crawdads make a popping sound much like popcorn if the garlic-butter is hot enough.
- After the Crawdad is done squirming you know he's ready for feasting on...simply tear the shell, legs, claws and tail away from the meat of the little monster and enjoy. Granted, you need to saute about 50 Crawdads to feel as if you've had an actual meal afterwards...plus, your breath smells like death, your stomach roils like pissed-off thunder and your...umm, left-overs...smells...well, it's enough to make you never want to eat anything, at all, ever again...

Basically what I'm trying to say is that Crawdads have very little redeeming qualities in total and I have no idea why I was out fishing for some of these disgusting mudbugs on that beautiful summer afternoon.
So, with that bit of background I'll pick up the story and continue...

***
There I was, all 80 pounds of me, standing on the bank of this smelly mud hole, holding onto a string with a piece of meat at the end; hoping to feel the nibble of a creature that weighed no more than a few ounces.
My body was tensed, my mind was a steel trap...I was hoping for the Grandaddy of all Crawdaddies but I was ready for anything...Anything that is, except for the gentle nudge from behind from my brothers friend Scott...I fell like a wet bag of cement...right into the middle of that muddy, smelly, disgusting hole in the ground.

I can tell you now that before that time in my life I had never been so terrified, I thought I was going to die.

It's not that I couldn't swim or that I was afraid of what creatures lurked below in that murky creek; its that I didn't know how deep that muddy hole went and I was immediately frozen with the kind of fear that keeps you from yelling out for help even though it's all you can think to do.
After that initial moment of extreme panic and shock, I tried to grab onto the reeds that grew out of the bank of the creek, of course the thin reeds would not support my weight fully before breaking and dropping me back into the water - I was Indiana Jones in a muddy trap and I was running out of options quickly.
When I knew that I couldn't get up onto the bank by myself I started to panic a little extra and flail about looking for other options until I had that moment of clarity that said "You're stuck, where's your Brother?" - Of course! Jimmy will save me!
And that's when I realized that I couldn't see my brother or Scott anywhere, Jimmy wasn't on the banks of the creek and I couldn't hear his voice either...I was well and truly scared that I would never be able to get out of that muddy hole alive.

Several minutes later, my brother appeared out of the thick foliage that surrounded the crick.
Apparently he'd been calling out my name and looking for me for the past several minutes but I'd been to panicked to hear him or respond. When my brother saw me down in that muddy hole he got down on his hands and knees right away and started reaching out for me...it only took him a few pulls to get me out of the crick and up on the bank - where I immediately told him the whole dramatic tale, with a little embellishment and BS on the side to make the story a legendary tale that would last until my dying day...well, c'mon, I am Irish after all.

I found out later that Scott didn't push me into the crick on purpose...He'd been walking backwards to get around a tree trunk on the creeks bank and had bumped into me and walked away before he realized that I'd fallen in - I only despised Scott for one afternoon for his clumsiness and then I forgave him.
After it was all said and done, I was fine. I hadn't been clawed at or snipped by any Crawdads nor slurped upon by leaches and despite my wild imagination the crick was not home to an indigenous school of ravenous Piranhas that ate stray dogs, cows and children...I wasn't hurt in the slightest and only after I was out of the hole did I realize that the water in the crick had actually been quite soothing and it was my panic at the suddenness of being in the crick that had made me so afraid of what my have been beneath the surface.
I told you that story to tell you this one...

I grew up in many different kinds of churches, some were Baptist, some were Pentecostal and some were just a bunch of families sitting in a living room talking about how we could change the world if we just had a few more people that thought like we did. The thing that all these churches had in common was that they were all formed with the basic idea that they would be Evangelical by nature and seek out "sinners" to lead to Jesus.
Of all of the churches that I grew up in and took part in - I never felt completely at peace with where/how I fit in to the grand design of those churches and their congregations...I thought that I never would know.

I knew in my early teen years that the churches that my family and I went to seemed to be struggling to survive...why else would they ask for money if not to keep the doors open and the lights on? At least, that was what I thought to myself.
These churches seemed to struggle in other areas as well, not just in not having enough money to continue their ministries but also - the churches seemed to have lots and lots of old people...(Which my brother and I tended to call "Blue-Hairs" for reasons evident by the many attempts to cover the gray-ish hair of the aging masses; which left a bluish hue covering the heads of many wrinkled faces)...there were barely any kids my age that went to the churches we went to and it seemed that there were even fewer young families that had babies coming into the church too...something just wasn't happening the way that it needed to; in order to survive.

It's only now after several years in ministry and personal trials that I know what has been happening to the American Evangelical Church since as long as I've been alive...

The Church of our fathers is dying - member by distinguished member with no cure in site.

At some point in the last 10 to 15 years America stopped caring about God.

Churches were no longer seen as places of community and brotherly love but as places of cultural and religious segregation and family traditions long-dead. If you were to ask a person passing you on the street what's wrong with churches today you'd hear something like "They gossip"..."They make me feel like a sinner"..."There are...rules"..."Can't do this, can't do that"..."I feel out of the loop when I go"..."It's hard to sit through"..."It's...boring"... "It's not going in the way that I believe to be true". Hearing these kind of responses, I wouldn't want to go to a place like that either.

Not to mention that most of the great voices of the Evangelical church had long since been silenced by their own folly, greed, lust or simple stupidity. In order to find out anything about the "Glory Days" of the Evangelical Church you had to go to the oldest person in the room and ask them to retell stories that had been retold thousands of times before - if not out of a need to know, out of a need to repeat those days long gone.

We had seen great men fail utterly in their pursuit or righteousness and beg for forgiveness on national television, only to rise to the top and fail all over again...America's patience for these supposed "Men of God" was being given the ultimate test and failing under the pressure...We had seen and heard stories of local respected pastors frequenting whore houses and meeting with known drug dealers...Feeding addictions of drugs and sex, abuse in the home and sexual harassment in the church office...We had seen the Catholic church go through so many sex scandals in such a short period of time that no one had time to recover from one accusation of sexual abuse before the next accusation came out...our collective heads were spinning from all of the sin that was becoming evident and apparent from the inside of these places of supposed righteousness and holiness...America was tired of seeing the mighty falling to their knees to beg for forgiveness - all the while screaming from their pulpits that they had been ordained by God Almighty to turn others away from sin and toward righteousness...America wasn't buying it - Instead America was buying everything else...because at least whatever else was out there was honest.

Americans were no longer listening to the older generations, no longer asking for advice from the people that knew them since birth...Instead of an American culture born unto God through tradition and morally founded values - an American culture of mass-consumption and self-service was born, with these base traits coupled together; Americans were searching for meaning in inanimate objects and things rather than searching their own souls for the meaning that was already planted inside..."GIVE ME PURPOSE"; you could almost here the inward scream of thousands as they searched in vain for any thing that would give them peace...

The American Consumer was born and the American Mall was the new Holy Place, tithes and offerings paid daily.

Whatever spurred this sudden change in the spirituality of American culture, wherever that change came from, it came rapidly and the churches of our fathers and mothers and their fathers and mothers were fast becoming valued real estate scheduled for re-zoning rather than expansion. I've lost count of the number of churches that I know of personally that have closed their doors forever because the "Holy Fire" that once burned so bright and clear had faded to nothing more than a lukewarm cinder...And what was more sad than seeing those doors close forever was not knowing whether or not all of the lifetimes of strain and effort to get people to come into those doors had been in vain; but how would Jesus speak to everyday people now that the doors of the chapel were closed?

There is a growing group of christian people in America that have come to be better known to more and more everyday people as we have grown further away from the 90's and the televangelistic screechings of an entire generation determined to save the world in their lifetime - as well as line their pockets with cold cash in plain view of millions.
This group of people that I'm talking about are popping up in different places all over the United States and under many different names - but they all seem to have the same goal in mind...The Reconciliation of America to the Grace and Love of Jesus Christ.

The individuals in these groups seem to have grown up in their parents and grandparents churches, they have seen the best and the worst that religion can offer, and they are tired of the bullshit. They are young, most under the age of 35. They are Single, Dating, Married, Gay, Straight, Lesbian. They are full of questions, usually more questions than answers. They have a passion to know God and to experience God in a real and authentic way, and to pass along that knowledge of God to anybody who is interested...They hang out in Coffee Shops, Pubs and Clubs...They live out loud and enjoy it. They call themselves by many different names, they come from many different backgrounds... and they all seem to share a common journey and cultural-language.

They call themselves The Emerging Church, Emergent and Post-Modern, Missional, Tribal and still others, Neo-Gothic. They use words like Ancient-Future Worship, Organic Faith, Journey and Experience. Their core values are Grace, Meaning, Truth and Beauty and they want to extend these core values to the communities that surround them.

What does this all mean? Is this something new? Do these names and words mean anything at all OR are they just that...Names and Words?

Is this movement a new thing or is it a sort of return to an older time of faith and belief? Are these just new names for a very old faith that has been around for two thousand years? Why is this change necessary? Who started it and why? Who cares? Who should care? Why?

When Martin Luther nailed a copy of his 95 Theses to the door of the Wittenberg Castle Church he did so to spur debate within the Church, why? - Because nobody was coming to Church anymore...The pews were empty.

What happened because of Martin Luther's hard questions is what has come to be known as The Reformation...In effect, Martin Luther changed the way that the Church related to the people forever. All by posing some simple observations in a humble yet forthright manner.

Is this Emerging Church trying to Reform the already Reformed?

You must be asking yourself by now...What could Crawdad Fishing and the Death of the American Church possibly have to do with one another?

Here's the thing...

When I went fishing for those Crawdads when I was a kid, I did it because that's what my brother and his friends always did on summer days, so I did it too, why not? It was tradition.

But, when I look back on that day now and see myself falling into that muddy pool, I'm given a clearer perspective of what that whole experience means for me now...

I am a minister, of sorts, a worship leader with a "Post-Modern" or "Emergent" Church...What I know for sure is that I am called by my Lord and my God to be a "Fisher of Men" - I'm called to reach out to those that are Lost and Broken, Lonely and Hungry, the Fatherless and the Widow...if that means that I have to be uncomfortable to do it, than that's what it'll take.

Like myself as a child, the Church has been standing on the bank of that muddy pool for a long time now...dipping a baited string into the water and hoping for a bite...The Church has been standing on the precipice of a great change for years, practically standing on the diving board but not jumping in.

We, the Emerging, Missional, Post-Modern Church have made an honest attempt to well and truly immerse ourselves in this culture in order to share the love of Jesus Christ in much the same way that he did. We haven't fallen into this "murky water" on accident, we weren't pushed in either, we jumped in with all of our clothes on!

We didn't come to swim nor to fish...We are in the water because this is where the fish are.

These young Emergent churches have had to flail their arms a bit and learn how to swim and yes they've had to call out for help from their bigger brothers too...But their not asking to be pulled out! They're saying: "Leave us in the water...We're trying to get as wet as possible"...To immerse themselves so deeply in this culture that this world can no longer tell the difference between the Church and those that they've come to share God's grace with.

The Emergent church asks - If Jesus had the habit of eating dinner with the worst of his day and he called them his friends and made them his disciples, shouldn't we follow that example?

And not just to say that we're doing it, but to do it!

If we, the Church, can reach one person with the love and grace of God by meeting them where they are, rather than asking them to come up to some unattainable level...shouldn't we do it without hesitation or question?

Lastly...

Is the Church itself changing? No.

Is the Emergent Church trying to change the way that Churches in general interact with the rest of the world? Yes, and necessarily...It must in order to remain relevant and in step with this ever-changing culture...otherwise the American Church will die.

John Paul II

2005-04-02T15:30:00.000-08:00

Rest In Peace Terri Schiavo

2005-03-31T08:06:00.001-08:00

No matter how you may feel about whether or not her feeding tube should have been removed; we should all mourn her sorrowful death and pray for her parents and family now.

Go with the angels...

Click on picture for news of Terri's passing.

False and Destructive, On Friendship and Learning the Hard Way.

2005-03-29T09:39:00.000-08:00

Every once in a while, when I see a person with a permanent frown on their face or someone being falsely nice; I'm reminded of a person that I'd like to forget about, "a friend", that I'm glad I no longer know...I'm glad because this person was (as far as I could tell) the spawn of Satan.

No, that's too harsh, she wasn't demon-seed, close, she was a cruel person.

Your question at this point would most likely be "Why would you let this person be a part of your life? Why would you call this person your friend?"
The answer: I was lonely in a new town and I needed a friend, any friend.
What I was too naive to know at that time in my life was that the people that I viewed as friends might not have viewed my friendship in the same un-assumed and genuine way that I did...I learned this lesson the hard way.

After I moved to San Diego and took the first job I could get, which was at Starbucks, I found that a girl I was working with seemed to be very friendly with me right from the start.
At the time I didn't have a care in the world except for making a buck and putting gas in my car, so it didn't occur to me that this girl may have a crush on me and I should tread lightly - or - working at Starbucks is just a friendly kind of place where it's just an automatic thing to be friends right away - or - she's just the friendly type and doesn't have any ulterior motives...
Boy, was I wrong.

Through working at Starbucks and knowing this girl, let's call her "Julie", I ended up meeting a friend of Julie's that came in one day for a drink...Julie's friend was Lindsay...Linds and I hit it off pretty much from the start and it seemed like Julie was all about us being together, even to the point that she planned for us to have our first semi-date by going out together with Julie and a bunch of her friends...I thought this was a great idea, of course I did, I had no idea what was going on, I was just happy that people that I'd only just met seemed to be showing a genuine interest in me being happy.

Long story shorter, Linds ended up moving into an apartment with Julie and another friend, so naturally I was at that apartment all the time...I was practically living there because I was over hanging out with Linds so much...

Life was great for a few months and then an unexpected (but really cool) thing happened; Lindsay started to love me and got really comfortable, comfortable enough to unload about all of the things in life that bugged her...it didn't take her long to confide in me that Julie had always treated Lindsay poorly.
I wouldn't know the full extent of how poorly Julie treated her so-called friends until Lindsay came to me one night with a dark cloud over her head and an even darker mood...

It took me almost an hour of quiet comfort and tactfully posed questions until Lindsay opened up to me and told me what was really bothering her.
Linds began to unfold a lifetime of memories and stories, of what I can only call mental-abuse, that was pushed on her by Julie since the time they'd known each other, which had been since they were practically toddlers.
Now, I'm not talking about anything truly serious as far as this sort of abuse goes, but it was serious enough for Lindsay to hold it inside her until she was almost out of her teens before she finally confided in another person that because of Julie's "Friendship" Lindsay felt degraded and small, unintelligent, unattractive and unloved...I held Linds for what must have been almost 3 hours while she cried into my shoulder and let years of private anguish pour out of her.

As much as I would like to say that things improved after Linds and I had this shared moment of healing, I can't; things got worse.
Julie seemed to realize that I had become Lindsay's best friend and so Julie began to treat me differently, coldly...No more buddy-buddy talk while at work, no more questions about how Linds and I were getting along...No more friendship.
What happened next should not have come as a surprise, but as I said before, I was very naive.

1. Julie lied about my work practices to her superiors and I got fired from Starbucks the next day...The war had begun.
2. Julie pitted herself and her new boyfriend (one of my new friends) against Lindsay, myself and the other roommate who was now Lindsay's very best friend...The war was in full swing.
3. Julie lied about me to Lindsay in an attempt to break us up...Revenge had become the rule of the day.
4. Julie lied to Lindsay's friends and family about our relationship and told everybody that I was an abusive, alcoholic and that she feared for Lindsay's safety...Character assassination was now common place.
5. I found out months later that Julie had told all of my friends and customers from work that I was in love with her and that Lindsay had stolen me away from her by being a slut...Unbelievable.

Inspite of everything that happened, Lindsay and I stayed strong, we eventually cut ourselves off completely from Julie and anyone that knew her or came in contact with her, we got our own place and a few years later we got married...And there you go.

Now, I could call Julie a lot of foul and hurtful names to show you how I feel about her and how she treated Lindsay, me and every other person that knew her...but I'm all cursed out when it comes to Julie...Instead I'm telling you this story to make a simple point that I'm still learning...

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

PostSecret

2005-03-23T08:31:00.000-08:00

Bored at work a few weeks ago, searching for meaning on the internet...I found it in the scribbled notes of anonymous confessors.
See the truth of the human soul revealed here.

Terri Schiavo, Part 2

2005-03-22T08:12:00.000-08:00

I want to bring a few important questions to the top of the pond here...because I think they're being missed and in missing them maybe we're missing a very fundamental issue hidden inside this story.

1. Why did Michael Schiavo order a full stop to all rehabilitative exercises?
I've read reports from hospice nurses that said that Terri was able to eat Jello, chew and swallow it...and Michael said (paraphrased) "Don't feed her that way, that's therapy, put the feeding tube in."
If she could eat jello, she could gain the necessary nutrients to live, isn't that right?
If Michael Schiavo hadn't ordered a full stop to all rehabilitation would Terri be in much better shape today? And would she be able to discuss her wishes personally?

2. If the rehabilitation that was happening, before Michael Schiavo put a stop to it, was working...Could she still be rehabilitated now?
Shouldn't we at least try?

3. Is Terri in pain?
From what everybody is saying, I'm hearing that "No, she's not in pain, she can't feel anything at all"...than why, OH WHY, can't we just leave her be?
She's not comatose folks.

4. There have been numerous offers from several people of several millions of dollars, that if Michael Schiavo would let go of his guardianship; Terri would receive the best care until the day she died of natural causes, no tax payer would pay another dime of support, Michael Schiavo could marry the girl he's been living with and has kids with, Terri's family would be able to visit her anytime they want AND Terri could continue the rehabilitation that was stopped so many years ago...Why can't this be an option?

Why are we in more of a hurry to let Terri Schiavo die than we are to put a convicted murderer to death by lethal injection?

Her eyes are open...She has a soul...She is not on life support...If you put food in her mouth she would chew it and swallow it.

If there is a scintilla of hope, why are we so eager to pull the plug?
Something is wrong here.

Terri Schiavo

2005-03-21T08:27:00.000-08:00

If you've watched the news at all in the last few days you've more than likely seen one or two news pieces on a woman named Terri Schiavo who is the victim of a (supposed) heart attack that left her in a (supposed) vegetative state where she must be fed through a feeding tube in the side of her torso.

Terri Schiavo's life has been the subject of much debate and protest for several years and now the debate and protest is starting up again because Terri's husband, Michael Schiavo, is trying once again to have her feeding tube removed so that she will die.

Now, I can't say that I know a great deal about this whole situation and I've only been able to read both sides of the story very briefly and can only say that in regard to whether Terri Schiavo's feeding tube should be removed; my opinion is no, it should not.
I'll give you the quick and dirty details and you can form your own opinion after reading up on them...

- Here is what Michael Schiavo and his lawyers have to say that supports their crusade to remove Terri's feeding tube - and in effect - kill her.

1. Terri is in a PVS (Persistent vegetative state)
2. Many doctors have said that there is no hope for her
3. Removing her tube will be a natural and dignified way to die

- Here is what Terri's family, friends and supporters have to say in rebuttal to these claims...

1. Terri's behavior does not meet the medical or statutory definition of PVS.
Terri responds to stimuli, tries to communicate verbally, follows limited commands, laughs or cries in interaction with loved ones, physically distances herself from irritating or painful stimulation and watches loved ones as they move around her...None of these behaviors are simple reflexes and are, instead, voluntary and cognitive...Though Terri has limitations, she does interact purposefully with her environment.
2. All of the doctors that were assigned to review Terri's condition were assigned by Michael Schiavo and none of them met with Terri for more than 45 minutes total (at the most) - and independent accounts from doctors and medical professionals that were not assigned by Michael Schiavo that have met with Terri and reviewed all information available about her current state have all agreed that Terri is responsive and knows what is going on around her; and is not in PVS.
3. Removing Terri's feeding tube would cause Terri to dehydrate and starve to death...read here about the effects of dehydration and starvation and decide for yourself if it is a humane, natural or dignified way to die.

Here are a few (as of yet unconfirmed) pieces of information that I've heard from radio talkshow callers who refused to identify themselves but claimed to be very close to this whole situation and also very knowledgeable concerning the major players in this whole sordid affair...

1. Michael Schiavo claims that he awoke at around 4:00am in the morning for "some unknown reason", got out of bed and heard "a thump" in the hallway, when he went to find out what the sound was he found his wife in a "lifeless state"...
2. Reports from doctors that examined Terri shortly after the incident (that left her in her current state) pointed out that there were two hairline fractures in Terri's neck-area that are consistent with a car accident or a physical blow from behind...Michael Schiavo is legally Terri's guardian and has total say over the documents that explain this information - he has declined to allow anyone to see these documents since they were first written by those doctors.
3. Terri initially went through a great deal of rehabilitation to which she showed great response...when Michael Schiavo learned that Terri was going to start going through speech therapy in order to regain her speech; Michael Schiavo as Terri's legal guardian put a stop to any and all processes of rehabilitation despite the protests of her family and friends who were seeing great progress from the small amount of rehabilitation that had already taken place.
4. Judge George Greer has been trying all along to help Michael Schiavo in the effort to (in effect) kill Terri Schiavo - Judge George Greer is legally blind and can not even read the court documents that are presented to him, they must be read to him by the bailiff or other court staff...
5. Michael Schiavo worked for Judge George Greer as a registered nurse several years before Terri had the "accident".
6. The Sheriff who presided over the area (and may still) where Terri and Michael Schiavo lived - is a close and personal friend of Judge George Greer.
7. Michael Schiavo has made it very clear that his desire is to have Terri's remains cremated immediately following her death and that no autopsy will be performed - As Terri's legal guardian this is his right.
8. Michael Schiavo has been offered sums of money exceeding several million by several different private citizens and public institutions to relinquish his guardianship over Terri and give up his crusade to remove her feeding tube and let her die.
He has declined every offer without explanation or deliberation.

- Why is Michael Schiavo in such a hurry to let Terri die?

- Why will he not relinquish guardianship?

- Why does Michael Schiavo and his lawyers say that Terri is a vegetable when she shows a clear and well documented response to outside stimulation and closeness of loved ones?

- Why will he not release all medical records to the public regarding Terri?

- Why is Judge George Greer so motivated to help Michael Schiavo kill Terri?

- Why hasn't there been any investigations into any of the claims regarding Michael Schiavo's personal character, private actions and public crusade to kill a living, breathing, responsive human being?

More importantly, why not let her live?

*
*

Read more here...Terri's Fight, Jews for Life, The Empire Journal, CNS-news, CNN, FOXnews

Cardinal blasts 'Da Vinci Code'

2005-03-16T07:28:00.000-08:00

According to this article - A top Catholic cardinal has blasted "The Da Vinci Code" as a "gross and absurd" distortion of history and also said that Catholic bookstores should take the bestseller off of their shelves because it is full of "cheap lies."

Cardinal Tarcisio Bertone, who is the archbishop of the northern Italian city of Genoa and a close friend of Pope John Paul, went on to say "(the Da Vinci Code) aims to discredit the Church and its history through gross and absurd manipulations, this seems like a throwback to the old anti-clerical pamphlets of the 1800s," he said. "You can find that book everywhere and the risk is that many people who read it believe that those fairy tales are real, I think I have the responsibility to clear things up to unmask the cheap lies contained in books like that."

Cardinal Bertone's comments are significant because until the Pope named him archbishop of Genoa in 2003 he was the number two man at the Vatican's most powerful department - the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith. Bertone is the archbishop of the northern Italian city of Genoa and a close friend of Pope John Paul.

***
I'm not going to post any *spoilers* just in case some of you have not read the book yet, but let's just say that the Cardinal's main beef has to do with a few of the main plot lines of the story as well as the way that a certain Catholic based group called Opus Dei is portrayed.
If you'd like to know more, I'd suggest you read the book; I think it's an excellent read.
***

Here's my reason for posting this story...

1. What kind of fairytale island does this Cardinal live on that he doesn't know the difference between fiction and fact? And (in my opinion) can not determine for himself whether or not he is helping or hurting the Christian faith by encouraging tough questions...should we all be sheep that don't bleet at all? It sounds like the Cardinal has exposed his greatest fear...again, only my opinion.
2. Is the Christian faith SO FRAGILE that it can't take a little healthy dissent and some honestly posed questions - whether posed from a fictional novel or not?
3. On all this whiny nonsense by the Caridnal; isn't it kind of too late to tell people not to read this book? After all, twenty-five million copies of the book have now been printed, in 44 languages, and there is no end in sight for the success of this book. Booksellers expect that "The Da Vinci Code" will remain a best-seller well into 2005 and with a planned film version starring Tom Hanks due out in 2006 should bring in even more readers!
4. What's the point! Doesn't this guy get it? Rant pending...Cardinal Bertone...with all due respect, It's fiction! FICTIONNNNN!!!...it's supposed to be fantastic, outlandish, interesting and controversial - otherwise how could anyone be interested in it?

When asked on his website whether or not Dan Brown was a Chritstian he responded...
"Yes. Interestingly, if you ask three people what it means to be Christian, you will get three different answers. Some feel being baptized is sufficient. Others feel you must accept the Bible as absolute historical fact. Still others require a belief that all those who do not accept Christ as their personal savior are doomed to hell. ...I consider myself a student of many religions. The more I learn, the more questions I have. For me, the spiritual quest will be a life-long work in progress."

And here are a few excerpts from Dan Browns Official website's Common Questions page...

Q. HOW MUCH OF THIS NOVEL IS TRUE?
A. "The Da Vinci Code is a novel and therefore a work of fiction. ..."

Q. IS THIS BOOK ANTI-CHRISTIAN?
A. "No. This book is not anti-anything. It's a novel. ..."

Q. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF CLERICAL SCHOLARS ATTEMPTING TO "DISPROVE" THE DA VINCI CODE?
A. "The dialogue is wonderful. These authors and I obviously disagree, but the debate that is being generated is a positive powerful force. ..."

***

WWJD?

I think Jesus would have enjoyed this fine work of fiction and it probably would've been on his Book of the Month Club between the writings of Mahatma Gandhi and the Dalai Lama...

***

C'mon Cardinal Bertone, you don't need attention this bad...let it go...it's just a novel, it can't hurt you!

The Mark of the Who?

2005-03-14T15:18:00.001-08:00

Somehow this story sounds strangely famliar...

I'm not saying anything, I'm just saying it's there...

Who knows what I'm talking about?

On Patriotism and Love of Country

2005-03-11T10:54:00.000-08:00

I was listening to a radio talk show hosted by Michael Savage recently when the topic of conversation turned toward Patriotism...what it is, what it is not and what it means in America today.

While I was listening to the talk show a Marine from Camp Pendleton called in...
The Marine proceeded to name a laundry list of the counties that he had been in for extended periods of time over the last 20 years for reasons of conflict or peace keeping...

At first the Marine seemed to be long winded and full of himself while naming his own exploits and I almost turned off the radio from my annoyance - but that's when the Marine came around to his point and I stayed my hand from the dial...
The Marine that started by saying that he'd been around the world and experienced the best and worst that this world has to offer ended by saying that he'd never found any place on earth that captured his heart and soul the way that the United States of America does...

At that point in the conversation the hardened warrior on the other end of the phone started cry openly...

Now, I don't know about you...but when a grown-ass-mans-man chokes up and starts to cry on a nationally broadcast radio show because he's trying to make a point about how much he loves his country...let's just say that I was right there with him - and you should be too.

I love this country...I love where it came from, its roots in a Godly lifestyle and high moral ground. I get choked-up and misty-eyed when I hear the national anthem at a ball game and when I see fireworks spread across the sky in celebration of our nations freedom from tyranny.
I have great hope and also great fear for its future...I want to protect it and what it stands for...however I can find to do that.

Now, I'm not planning on enlisting or anything, don't worry mom, but I do feel a deep sense of pride for this place and I feel like it's worth fighting for to protect and nurture...if for nothing else, for my as-of-yet-unborn children...

So, in any way that I can find to show my Patriotism, I'll strive to do it.

Patriotism: Love for or devotion to one's country - Love of country and willingness to sacrifice for it.

When was the last time you actually thought about the words that make up our national anthem?
Read the words, don't hum the tune, read it line by line...just appreciate the reason it was written and enjoy the simple poetry.

***

Oh, say can you see, by the dawn's early light,
What so proudly we hailed at the twilight's last gleaming?
Whose broad stripes and bright stars, through the perilous fight,
O'er the ramparts we watched, were so gallantly streaming?

And the rockets' red glare, the bombs bursting in air,
Gave proof through the night that our flag was still there.
O say, does that star-spangled banner yet wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave?

On the shore, dimly seen through the mists of the deep,
Where the foe's haughty host in dread silence reposes,
What is that which the breeze, o'er the towering steep,
As it fitfully blows, half conceals, half discloses?

Now it catches the gleam of the morning's first beam,
In full glory reflected now shines on the stream:
'Tis the star-spangled banner! O long may it wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave.

And where is that band who so vauntingly swore
That the havoc of war and the battle's confusion
A home and a country should leave us no more?
Their blood has wiped out their foul footstep's pollution.

No refuge could save the hireling and slave
From the terror of flight, or the gloom of the grave:
And the star-spangled banner in triumph doth wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave.

Oh! thus be it ever, when freemen shall stand
Between their loved homes and the war's desolation!
Blest with victory and peace, may the heaven-rescued land
Praise the Power that hath made and preserved us a nation.

Then conquer we must, when our cause it is just,
And this be our motto: "In God is our trust."
And the star-spangled banner in triumph shall wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave!

Play Ball.

Around the World in 66 Hours

2005-03-03T11:52:00.000-08:00

Congratulations are due to Steve Fossett for doing what others thought too difficult or near-impossible, yet again...

This time Fossett flew the circumference of the earth on a Solo Non-Stop flight...

Fossett took off from the Salina Municipal Airport in Salina, Kansas at sunrise, flew around the globe and landed in the same spot he'd taken off from only 66 hours before...Amazing!

Fossett taking off from Salina, Kansas

The airplane that Fosset flew was called the GlobalFlyer and it consists of three hulls attached to a 114-foot wing that measures more than half the wingspan of a Boeing 747.
Twin "boom" hulls on either side of the cockpit hull each carried almost 5,500 pounds of fuel.
On top of the plane's 7-foot cockpit is a single jet engine.

Fossett flying over the Grand Canyon

Fossett experienced a few moments of panic halfway through the flight when concerns arose that the specially built airplane that Fossett was flying seemed to be running much lower on fuel than it should have been at that point during the flight.
According to some reports the only reason that Fossett was able to complete this amazing journey was by a tailwind that practically pushed his airplane over the length of the Pacific Ocean - thereby not using as much fuel as was necessary to complete that leg of the flight...Crazy.

Fossett flying over the Pacific on a wing and a prayer

This last incredible accomplishment is one of many for Steve Fossett.

In 2002, Fossett became the first solo balloonist to circle the globe nonstop, despite an on-board fire and dangerous winds.

Two years later, Fossett and his crew made the fastest circumnavigation of the world on a sailing ship...Just 58 days.

As Clive Cussler would say "Here's to Adventure!"

The Divided States of America

2005-03-02T08:51:00.000-08:00

In a ruling that shocked many American citizens, myself included, 5 out of 9 Supreme Court Justices ruled recently that no person who has committed a crime before the age of 18 could be condemned to the death penalty for that crime.

Big deal? Yes.

What this means is that any person that who has been on death row for the murder of innocent life is as of now released into the general jail population and will not face the ultimate punishment for their most-heinous of crimes against humanity.

Free Pass? Yes.

Here's some quick facts...
* There are 74 people on death row in the US for crimes they committed when they were under the age of 18. Of those 74, 29 are in Texas and 14 in Alabama.
* Since 1976, 22 people have been executed in the US for crimes they committed as juveniles, 13 of them in Texas, where George Bush was governor from 1995 to 2000.
* Nineteen states allow the execution of juvenile offenders.

Here's a very short list of some of the scum that will NOT pay the price for their crimes and will most likely be paroled if the ultra-liberal advocacy groups have anything to do with it...

******
Jose Ignacio Monterrubio was 17 years old when he and his older cousin, Sixto Monterrubio, raped (repeatedly), beat (unrecognizable), stabbed (dozens of times) and then strangled a female classmate from Rivera High School in September 1993. The two men buried the body of 16-year-old Carla Villarreal in a shallow grave near the airport.
Carla Villarreal's mutilated body was found one month later - her parents could not recognize any part of her.
******
Jose Alfredo Salinas, was 17 on July 28, 2001, when he and two others shot 20-year-old Geronimo Morales in a carjacking and left his 21-month-old daughter, Leslie Ann Morales, strapped in her carseat in a tall grassy area outside Mission, where she later died of dehydration and exposure.
******

John Lee Malvo, who turned 20 last month, was 17 when he and sniper mastermind John Allen Muhammad, 53, went on their deadly rampage in 2002 that left 15 people dead. John Lee Malvo will not face the death penalty in any future trials, thanks to the Supreme Court ruling.
******
Michael L. Jones, now 22, was 17 when he and a 28-year-old man killed Maneeka D. Plant, 24, and Cedric U. Reinford, 30, on Nov. 21, 1999.
******
Patrick Lewis Cook, Robert Benton Miller and Michael Shepherd were all under 18 when police say they pulled a gun on Megan Liebengood, 18, as she was getting groceries out of her car on Sept. 15, 2004. One of the juveniles reportedly asked the others if he should shoot Liebengood. When he got no answer, he shot her in the head.
******
Martin Soto-Fong was 17 when he fatally shot Frederick Gee, 45; Huang Ze Wan, 77; and Raymond Arriola, 32, at a market in June 1992.
******
Levi M. Jackson was 16 when he killed 40-year-old Patricia Bauerlin during a carjacking.
******
Christopher Simmons, now 28, was a 17-year-old high school student in 1993 when he and 15-year-old Charles Benjamin burgled a house in St Louis where the owner, Shirley Crook, was at home and recognized Simmons. Simmons tied Shirley Crook up, took her to a nearby river and threw her off of a bridge to drown. Simmons was caught after he bragged to friends about what he had done. A jury sentenced him to death.
******

Have I made my point without even stating it?

These are 8 stories out of 74.
74 stories of heinous and evil actions carried out on innocent people by young men who knew what they were doing when they did it and should therefore (imo) bear the full brunt of the law, both moral, ethical and judicial...except...now Justice has lost its teeth and these young men may yet be free to kill and rape again someday.

Let's take this to the extreme for a moment, it's not that much of a stretch...

Imagine for a moment that all of the worlds Terrorists, Murderers, Rapists and Gang members are aware of what occurs in this nations court system and also let us assume that these same cretins are aware that the system can now be taken advantage of to the point that any Terrorist can plot and carry out as many terrible acts of murder as their heart desires and kills as many innocent people as their twisted minds can imagine and admit to it all in the end - and they will never face the justice they so rightly deserve and be executed - as long as they've done all of these heinous acts before they've turned 18.

On that same token, a 17 year old male could video tape himself kidnapping, raping and killing any number of under age girls, stand before a judge, jury and God and admit to the whole thing and say in a sane mind that he'd do it all again if they'd let him go...and he still wouldn't be put to death for his crimes against humanity...

This must tell you that something is wrong with our Supreme Court Justices.

I would go so far as to say that our Supreme Court has been hijacked by some of the most liberal minds that our nation has produced in the history of our great country.
If you want to open your eyes to who that hijacker is, read up on Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg. Look into the decisions that have been made by her urging since she was appointed as a supreme court justice by our nations most liberal President - Bill "BJ" Clinton...
The decision to raise the age of accountability for murderous crimes is Ruth Bader Ginsburg's latest triumph over morality, ethics and decency...read up on her and you'll see what I mean.

I don't know what to say, I don't know what my point is right now either.

I guess I'm just hurting somehow and upset that so many peoples lives were taken from them by these trolls and now those peoples families have to go through more pain from knowing that their loved-ones murderer will not pay for their crimes - and that breaks my heart...I guess that's my point.
It just doesn't seem right.

12/12/2012 - The End? Part 2

2005-02-25T13:07:00.000-08:00

A few days ago I posted some interesting info that I'd compiled about the date 12/21/2012...

What I didn't say in that post was what my personal thoughts are about all of the information that I'd posted, I'll do that now...

Q. Do I believe that the world and everything in it will cease to exist on 12/21/2012?
A. Of course not.

Q. Do I believe that some kind of fundamental change will occur on 12/21/2012?
A. Maybe, there certainly seems to be some intriguing information from very old sources that say that the date of 12/21/2012 does represent some kind of end, does that mean the end of the world? I don't think so...and to be truthful, the Maya people don't think the world will end either - What the Maya do believe is that there will be some kind of "End" - Whether that be the end of A Civilization OR All Civilizations OR The level that all civilizations will have come to be comfortable by that date.

Q. Do I believe in Astrology?
A. No, that is not a belief system in which I subscribe

Q. Do I believe in the "End Times"?
A. I'm going to say that yes, I do...BUT...I believe that the "End Times" began when Christ ascended and so for someone to say to me that the "End Times" are coming; sounds to me like lunacy...to be honest.
Also, fretting constantly about how the world will end is one sure-fire way to alienate yourself from the rest of the world that is just trying to make it to the weekend intact.

So, what will happen, if anything?
I hope that gas prices will go down personally. I'd also like to see the Crime rates and Divorce rates go down and I'd also like to see interest rates go up.

But seriously, everybody just calm down and worry about what your gonna eat for dinner tonight instead of how soon the world will end and how it'll do it.

To quote our 33rd President; Harry S. Truman - "Those who do not read and understand history are doomed to repeat it."

2005-02-23T13:47:00.000-08:00

Agnus Dei
Agnus Dei
Qui tollis peccata mundi

Agnus Dei
Agnus Dei
Qui tollis peccata mundi

Dona nobis pacem
Dona nobis pacem
Pacem
Dona nobis pacem

Lamb of God
You who take away the sins of the world

Lamb of God
You who take away the sins of the world

Give Us Peace
Give Us Peace
Peace
Give Us Peace

12/21/2012 - The End?

2005-02-22T13:13:00.000-08:00

If I mention the date December 21st of the year 2012 and ask how you feel about it; you'd probably do some quick calculations, come up with what your age will be on that day and say something witty and dry about aging before your time...but you might miss something that could be important...ultimately important, as is becoming increasingly clear.
Before you stop reading this and start making a talking motion with your hand and saying "Yada, Yada, Yada..." - Take a few minutes to read the following facts about the date 12/21/2012.

***********************
The Infallible Calendar
***********************
The Mayan, or Maya people are perhaps the most mysterious of all of the ancient civilizations that have disappeared from the face of the earth...what we don't know about Mayans outweighs what we do know about them by about 100 times - That's pretty substantial, to say the least.
A few of the things that we do know about the Mayans was that they were smart...Incredibly so.
So smart in fact that they created (perhaps) one of the first written languages based solely upon mathematical principals rather than symbols and designs made to imply a commonly understood idea...So, they were very smart with math...and just saying "They were smart with math" doesn't even begin to encompass how smart.

Another thing we know is that the Mayans were as knowledgeable about the pattern of stars and constellations as we are today, if not more...

Here comes the kicker...

Their calendar was (is) so accurate that it told the future...(Fact)...Predicting the exact time of such events as Solar and Lunar Eclipses, Dynamic changes in the heavens such as Super-Novae and Black Holes, Extended extreme weather forecasts far into their own future...And, are you ready?...

The Maya Calendar Ends on 12/21/2012.

This is not a theory, it's not even an educated guess - That the most advanced calendar of all time ends in our very near future is a solid and confirmable fact.

**********************
The Age of Aquarius
**********************
There are many in the Astrological community (If you can take them seriously) who believe that the Age of Pisces ends soon and the Age of Aquarius begins...Can you guess on what date?
Now, if you can stop humming that uber-annoying song by Hair for a moment - I'll continue...
If you pay any sort of attention to what the crystal-wearer's are mumbling as you pass them on the street corner; you would know a little of the following...

1. Prior to the Age of Aquarius is the Age of Pisces - most commonly associated with the fish symbol that represents Jesus (And gets torn gleefully from the bumper of the faithful's cars while they attend service) - The Age of Pisces is most notably seen as an era where Man is told what to think, how to feel, what to say and how to live, again, in a nutshell...I guess this could be seen in a few different ways...The Church telling people how things should be, The Government telling people how things should be, The People telling the People how things should be...take it at your own speed, I can't say I understand it...my point out of all this gobbledy-gook is what I'll hit on in a moment...

2. The Age of Aquarius (In a nutshell) is supposed to be a period of time where man is no longer imposed upon by the powers that be - whatever those powers may be - and that the mind would be opened up so that people could live freely in the mind, spirit and body...again, this in a very brief and tiny nutshell...

Anywho, all of these changes are supposed to take place, according to some, on a specific date...that's right, you got it...12/21/2012

**********************
The Singularity
**********************
The date of 12/21/2012 also presents a Mathematical Certainty or Singularity which is not very widely understood but is discussed briefly here...

I'll try and give you an instructional walkthrough that points out the major issues of this Singularity...
1. Some mathematicians have plotted the asymptotic graphs of all of humanity's technological developments and projected them out to a point where they all, almost simultaneously - Hit infinity...The day that they arrived at is 12/21/2012 - the one projected date of "The Singularity."
This day is when some say Everything as we know it will change. Drastically.

*Stick with me on this next one...it may take you a while to wrap your head around it...*

2. If we take a look at some of the Species-Altering events in our history, we can see three MAJOR developments that changed the entire course of Human History.

*The Agricultural Revolution, 30,000 years ago we learned how to farm.

*The Industrial Revolution, 350 years ago we learned how to mass-produce machines.

*The Information Revolution, About 50 years ago we learned how to build computers.

As you can see, the rate of change is increasing; as is our abilities afforded by the changes.
With computers, we have the ability to build more efficient things, fly planes and spaceships, educate more people, etc...Each of these enabling technologies will build further development, and at a faster rate...But to what point?

According to the mathematical model, we should see approximately 61 more of these Species-Altering developments before 12/21/2012 and all of the changes will have the same magnitude as the three noted above.
Again, it's only a model.

But, the mathematical model predicts that 18 of these changes will be on the last day prior to 12/21/2012, and that 13 of these changes are to happen in the last FRACTION OF A SECOND of 12/20/2012, as things accelerate towards that infinity point - The Singularity.

I won't give you my own version of how things could go down, I'm sure you can create your own.

************************
The Bible Code
************************
The date 12/21/2012 also makes an appearance in the much-disputed Bible Code.
If you haven't read anything about the Bible Code I would recommend it, I'm not ready to tell you that I believe in it totally - but I will say that the Bible Code has (apparently) predicted many major events, such as assassinations of major world and religious leaders, disasters - both unpredicted and planned and many, many dates.
One of which is of course 12/21/2012.

In the Bible Code the 21st day of the 12 month of the year two-thousand-and-twelve is criss-crossed by the words "EARTH DESTROYED".
************************

Now, I don't know what all this means, I don't even know if I'm going to think about it again after I finish with this article - But I do know that all of these small points do seem to line up and point to a certain date.
Does all this mean that the earth will be destroyed?
That all man will be wiped out and our beautiful planet will be turned into a lifeless rock?
Or does it mean that the world as we know it will change, for better or worse...Not that we'll die, Not that life will cease...But, just change?

Come Sinner, Come Saint...I welcome your thoughts on the END...whatever that may be.

"You've got to do something, Or else..."

2005-02-14T13:06:00.000-08:00

Have you ever been in a group setting and been asked to open up to the group and share sensitive and sometimes unnecessary personal information; all in the name of Group Edification, Openness and "Personal Healing"?

I'm sure that if you have been in any "Small Group" sessions at a Church, Alcoholics Anonymous, Jenny Craig or Goat Burners Recovery Group - you've probably been confronted in one way or another by a group leader or fellow-sufferer to "Share your feelings" and "Tell the group what you think about this or that or how or why"...ad nauseam.

I was in a situation, such as the one I've described, a few years ago that I'd like to tell you about in the hopes that in the telling you can draw some...(I don't know)...something from it that would enrich you...

So, there I was sitting cross-legged on the carpet like a good little Indian, waiting patiently for my turn to share something about myself that would show how willing I was to open up to this new group of friends; when I realized that the bit of info that I was preparing to share seemed to be a little bit more explosive than what the other 25-30 people in the circle were talking about...

Let me give you some perspective on the scene before I continue...

It was a planning and retreat weekend for the ministry team of a brand new church; the crowd was eclectic in a SoCal/College kind of way...
The question that was asked of everyone in the room was this "Name one instance in your life where you knew you would never be the same."

Somebody once told me that we all answer questions in three phases of honesty, depending on how comfortable we feel with our surroundings. Those three phases are Honest, More Honest and Most Honest...Honest will earn you a sympathetic look from across the room, More Honest will earn you a hug or a hand squeeze, Most Honest will earn you a slobbered on shoulder and a snot-encrusted upper lip...

Everybody in the circle seemed to be giving very honest answers and seemed to be letting every one else get an intimate glimpse into their lives and thoughts...granted some of the answers turned inexorably toward subjects like first pets, lost teeth and drivers permits; but some people were truly reaching deep and taking out the trash.

I chose the easy way out.

When it came my turn to show which level of Honesty I was prepared to divulge; I opened my mouth and found myself saying something about writing songs that expressed my soul and how I felt...Ralph-Splat...I accomplished nothing...I was less than Honest, I earned a few raised eyebrows and a golf-clap.

Now, that's what I said. Not what I wanted to say.

I don't know that if I had opened up completely and made myself vulnerable that anything would have been different in how anyone else saw me, but I know that I would have seen myself differently - Maybe better - More confidant.

What I wanted to say...

In the last few months of '99 I found myself faced with a decision of some importance...
I could rent a room from a Star-Trek-Loving-Ex-Hippy in Rohnert Park and continue being anonymous amongst the people I grew up with...OR...Take my chances and move to one of two locations in the US where I could start fresh and make my own way...It was going to be either Colorado Springs, Colorado to take a job as a youth pastor for an evangelical ministry where a place had already been carved out for me - OR - San Diego, California where I knew exactly one person, no prospects, no opportunities and no niche prepared for me...

I chose San Diego and gave everyone I knew a few days notice that I was leaving. I packed everything I owned into a 1967 Chrysler Newport Custom and left town on September 1st 1999 at 4:00AM in the morning...I was scared shitless.

To summarize the next few months I'll say this...I slept on my friends bedroom floor, searched for a job for 2 months and ran out of money before the gay assistant manager at the local Starbucks took pity on me and gave me a job...sufficed to say; by this time I had lost quite a bit of weight from my poor-person diet and my health was on the decline...I was also as lonely as I'd ever been.

I'd been living with my friend for several months now and I could sense that I was cramping his style in a big way, things were coming to a head and I was not prepared for the outcome.
We had a blow-out, the kind of blow-out where Choice-Suggestions and "F-You's" are handed out liberally...At the end of the blow-out I was faced with an ultimatum...Move out.

With the money I was making at Starbucks I could barely afford to feed myself and keep my gas tank full - let alone pay rent in San Diego...I just wasn't ready for this yet, not even close.
The date was February 16th.

A few days prior I had asked a girl out on a date...Yes, on Valentines Day...She never showed.
I felt extremely lonely, rejected and altogether...a loser.

At the same time that I got rejected I was also told that my hours were being cut back at Starbucks and that I was lucky that my bosses liked me so much because if they hadn't - I wouldn't have had that job anymore...Apparently the regional manager had found that too many people were working at this one location and that many of the people had to be let go...I was one of those on the chopping block and by the grace of my gay assistant manager; I was spared...but just barely.

By this time it must be easy for you to see that things were not going my way...in fact it's fair to say that I was devastated...Personally, Emotionally and increasingly; Spiritually.

You see, I'd been so busy focusing on surviving that I'd forgotten who gave me the strength to go on...don't misunderstand me, I don't believe that God is all that concerned with my every-day actions, he's more concerned with my soul...this is probably the reason that I felt a tug on my sleeve that evening after the blow-out and final slap in my face...

It was after the argument that I was sitting in my '67 Chrysler in the parking lot of a Denny's restaurant, I had less than $5.00 to my name, it was one week till payday when I would get a paycheck of no more than $300.00, my car was running on fumes and was about 10,000 miles overdue for an oil change.
I was starving, tired, hurt, scared and utterly alone. And it was raining; hard...which is rare for San Diego - but fitting for the circumstances...

I remember sitting there in my car and thinking to myself "What am I going to do?"

I also remember being mad at God.
I remember yelling at God and crying, a lot; I didn't understand how I, the second-born son of Godly parents, beloved worship leader and devoted servant of God and Man, could suddenly find myself in a situation that was beyond my control - perhaps for the first time.

I remember now that in my desperation I had cried so bitterly and cried out to God that I was "Tapped-out", "Done" and "Tired of living" - I realized even as I was saying it that I was saying that I wanted to die rather than feel afraid and alone. I was thinking about suicide as an alternative...I think that that realization scared me more than the circumstances that had brought me to that place of despair...

It was then that I cried out to God for a new reason, altogether different in desperation..."God, I'm worn out and I'm talking about dying here, I don't want to die but I'm so tired of this life, I'm desperate for something, anything that will make my life make sense...You've got to help me! - You've got to do something or else..."

I'm not sure if God responds to our ultimatums and I know that I didn't feel any better after ranting and raving like a lunatic in my car, in the rain, in a Denny's parking lot for several hours...but I did realize that I was made of tougher stuff than I'd previously realized and that encouraged me.
It didn't change anything though. The rain didn't stop, my gas tank didn't fill up, my wallet wasn't suddenly full of cash and I was still screwed...But at least I was ready for whatever was going to happen...with that in mind; I slept in my car.

Would you like to know what happened next?

A red-necked, hill-billied, fat-man from Alabama called me out of the blue and said "I heard through the grapevine that you need a place to live...I just moved into town to help a local youth ministry get off the ground and I'm renting a two bedroom apartment that I can't afford on my own; if you can afford $450.00 a month I'd like it if you could be my roommate..."
It turns out that this guy from Alabama was going to be working with the same youth ministry that I'd been thinking about working with too, and we did end up being roommates and it made all the difference in the world...

The youth ministry that my new roommate and I were involved in took a drastic turn and decided to become a Church; we called it Mission Gathering and I've been a part of Mission Gathering pretty much since that beginning and I've been the leader of worship ministries for the Church for about 3 years now - Mission Gathering Christian Church will be 6 years old this October.

Soon after I moved into that new apartment and started going to my new church; I met a girl named Lindsay while working at my Starbucks job one evening...

I flirted with Lindsay intensely and asked her out on a date a few weeks later.
Our first date was on March 3rd of 2000, we went to the Hard Rock Cafe in La Jolla where she challenged me to a beer chugging contest, I lost, the beer went all over my shirt and she thought it was hilarious - Yes, she was a keeper. We got married 3 years later.

Now, I've never seen God, I've never heard a small, still voice telling me that every thing is going to be OK and I've never felt the touch of God's hand...at least not in any way where I could point it out to you and say "See, I told you so!"

But, I can say that I have yelled and screamed and cursed at God...And I can tell you that he saw the tears rolling down my cheeks in that '67 Chrysler, he heard my cries for help on that rainy night and he felt me reaching out to him in my darkest hour...

And maybe that made all the difference.

The Bride, the Geisha and the Whitewashed Tomb...

2005-02-01T21:10:00.000-08:00

I am intrigued by the Geisha culture of Japan.
You might say I'm drawn to it like a moth to flame - admittedly; I don't know why this simple attraction exists...

The Geisha culture seems (to me) to be beautiful in appearance in all of the ways that one would want for a culture to be. The history of the culture seems to be rich in Color and Life while mixed liberally with a strong sense of Honor, Pride and Propriety...A place for every thing and every thing in its place.

I say "In appearance" because admittedly; I don't know much about it.

In order to more fully understand some of the more complex models of human behavior that surround us and mystify me, I try to simplify issues and technical thoughts to elemental levels and compare them to more commonly understood themes and ideals...
Not necessarily Apples-to-Oranges but more Granny-Smiths to Fuji.

The Geisha appear as if from another time and place altogether, they are totally different in appearance than almost any other group of people on earth...Why?
Why the separation from other cultures-if only by appearance and behavior?

What is the most apparent difference that is clear when you look at the Geisha?

You could say that their make-up sets them apart, the white face paint signifies their position in society and also gives them particular importance in some inner circles of Japanese culture.
Next would probably come the hair in all of its intricacies of design which also drip with a sense of order and standing...Than probably the clothing, beautiful cloth with amazing designs, wrapped about the body in a certain way, now, as it was, and has been for a thousand years.

Also, something that may draw your attention to the Geisha is their nature, seemingly dour in countenance and almost sad to look at...

I'm sure that if we were to look beyond the white make-up and the perfect appearance of the Geisha we would find a very familiar scene...A young girl using the Means available to reach the End desired.

Let me explain...

If you look a little deeper into the Geisha culture you'll find out a few things right away...the Geisha are part of an ancient tradition of hostesses that have always labored to be the perfect host...No matter who that guest happens to be...
Dancing was an early form of entertainment by the Geisha that continues through till today...
Being able to carry on a conversation with business men about business and hold their own in a technical and diverse world...
Providing a comfortable space for weary travelers and warriors alike to rest their bodies and minds while taking part in the Geishas food, drink and yes, even partaking in the Geisha girls themselves...That's right, sex.
This was the service provided - They were after all; the perfect hostesses.

So, in some ways the Geisha were and are a symbol of the perfect female, at least from a male perspective.

As the years have passed, especially in the last 50 years, the Geisha lifestyle has become less about servicing the sexual needs of the clientele and more about servicing the mental and meta-physical needs...Geisha have endeavored to become adept at speaking confidently in matters of business, politics, commerce, sports, pop culture, food, alcohol and just about any other thing that a male client may want to discuss...Because of this ability and desire to be able to communicate effectively and with knowledge in all of these areas, the Geisha are themselves; a society of business women unto themselves.

As an outsider we may ask why a girl would want to be a Geisha in this day and age...The reason that a young girl may choose to be a Geisha now is to someday endear herself so fully to a male guest (or client) that he would propose marriage to her and take her away from the life of public service to many men, to a life of private service to one man - her husband.

By this token, the Geisha, from the time she is a young girl, endeavors to become the perfect wife, the perfect bride...A priceless diamond among worthless coal.

There is only one culture other than the Geisha that I know of that so fully alienates itself - on purpose - from its own culture in order to achieve the appearance of a perfect bride...

The Christian Church.

I'm sure that if you've ever been in a church service where random people shout "Hallelujah" or "Amen" at the top of their lungs for apparently no reason; you've probably heard a preacher refer to their church as "The Bride of Christ"...
If you haven't heard this term or know why some people may say it or in some cases abuse it; I'll give you some background...

In the Bible, you know, the Word of God, there is a book called "Revelations" it's mostly filled with some pretty fantastic visions and prophecies that most modern day pastors and preachers won't touch for fear of freaking out their congregations with more information than their pastors and preachers are capable of explaining or teaching them about...effectively anyway...

Where was I?
Oh yeah...In the book of Revelations, which was written by a guy named John, there is a verse that says "Let us rejoice and be glad and give him (God) glory! For the wedding of the Lamb (Jesus) has come, and his bride (Believers in Jesus) has made herself ready." - Rev. 19:7
There are also a few other verses in the Bible that say things about Brides and Grooms and preparations and bridal parties and all other kinds of hoopla...BUT ((And please understand me; I'm not making light of the scripture-I'm coming to a point that I hope you'll stick around to read))...

...I've got tell you...Christians, Believers, Followers - Jesus never referred to himself as Bridegroom or a Groom nor did he refer to his followers as Brides.

I'm sorry, but he didn't.

Jesus never called those who followed him his "Bride" or anything even close to it, he didn't call them Fiancés or Girlfriends either...
SIMPLY: Jesus called them Followers, Disciples and Fishers of Men.

There are entire ministries that are built on the idea of a group of people needing to be perfectly Holy in order to become The Bride of Christ - when in fact it was Jesus that sat with Whores, Thieves, Ruffians and - Worst in his day - Tax Collectors...
Jesus hung with the worst and required that his disciples do the same while they were with him.

And yet today - Some of his so-called followers berate those who would be interested in Jesus Christ by telling them "You must first be washed in the Blood of the Lamb and become Sin-Less and Pure of Heart in order to become the Bride of Christ and enter his Heavenly Kingdom." - WHOA! STOP!

That is not the Jesus that I have found in the scriptures on my own.

Maybe you've seen some beer-soaked sports fans holding up a sign that says JOHN 3:16 on it, have you ever wondered what that says?
Jesus said it, it went like this..."This is how much God loved the world: He gave his Son, his one and only Son. And this is why: so that no one need be destroyed; by believing in him, anyone can have a whole and lasting life. God didn't go to all the trouble of sending his Son merely to point an accusing finger, telling the world how bad it was. He came to help, to put the world right again. Anyone who trusts in him is acquitted; anyone who refuses to trust him has long since been under the death sentence without knowing it. And why? Because of that person's failure to believe in the one-of-a-kind Son of God when introduced to him." - John 3:16-18 - Jesus' words, nobody else's - read this part again; "God didn't go to all the trouble of sending his Son merely to point an accusing finger, telling the world how bad it was."

You see, I think that "The Bride" has got it all backwards and they're crucifying Jesus on their public access shows everyday in the publics mind by painting an inaccurate, un-loving and un-lovable Christ.

Understand me, I'm not talking about followers of Christ in general being "The Bride".

I'm talking about the fundamentalist, extra-crispy-right-wing, bible-thumpers that have no connection with the "real-world" or their community whatsoever and have been brainwashed from early ages to believe that the "Secular World" is sinful in so many ways as to make it beyond help, hope or rescue by anyone other than God Himself!

I'm here to tell you this type of thought is not right; it's not right and it's not Biblical.

If you ever wanted to challenge one of these types of so-called Christians to a duel of words and scripture; I'd suggest quoting this one to them...
In the book of Matthew in Chapter 10, Verses 5-16 the Bible says this...
"Jesus sent his twelve harvest hands out with this charge: "Don't begin by traveling to some far-off place to convert unbelievers. And don't try to be dramatic by tackling some public enemy. Go to the lost, confused people right here in the neighborhood. Tell them that the kingdom is here. Bring health to the sick. Raise the dead. Touch the untouchables. Kick out the demons. You have been treated generously, so live generously. Don't think you have to put on a fund-raising campaign before you start. You don't need a lot of equipment. You are the equipment, and all you need to keep that going is three meals a day. Travel light. When you enter a town or village, don't insist on staying in a luxury inn. Get a modest place with some modest people, and be content there until you leave. When you knock on a door, be courteous in your greeting. If they welcome you, be gentle in your conversation. If they don't welcome you, quietly withdraw. Don't make a scene. Shrug your shoulders and be on your way. You can be sure that on Judgment Day they'll be mighty sorry--but it's no concern of yours now. Stay alert. This is hazardous work I'm assigning you. You're going to be like sheep running through a wolf pack, so don't call attention to yourselves. Be as cunning as a snake, inoffensive as a dove."

Read that one again and again if you want to understand and know what it really was that Jesus was trying to get his followers to do and be...Him.

In my short 27 years I have have seen groups of hundreds and thousands of grown men and women teaching their children and each other how to throw great "Potlucks", "Last-Tupper-Ware Parties" and "Lock-ins" - While avoiding the world that surrounds them as much as possible for fear of sin contamination...To seek out foreign lands to "Claim for Christ" - While ignoring the pain and apparent need in their own neighbors eyes...To hand out tracts to drug addicts that are not helpful - Instead of trying their damnedest to actually know that strung-out kid on a personal level...To hide behind closed doors while singing obscure songs and saying words and phrases that nobody else could understand - Instead of sitting down in a Pub or a Coffee shop with our Bibles wide open before us-welcoming all those around you that may have questions...To feed the hungry one time per year instead of a constant effort to ease the suffering of the needy...don't even get me started on this one...read this verse in the Bible - Matthew 25:31-46 - for some of Jesus' teachings on the needy...

Now look, I grew up in the kind of churches that I am writing about and speaking against right now. But I'm here to tell you that I am as guilty as them. Ok? But, I'm trying to change and be more like Christ was...
So, for right now, don't bitch at me, ok?
I'm allowed to have my point of view based in dissent, hard questions and grievances that need to be aired - For the purpose of change.

Here it is, the Point...

The Church today is a whitewashed tomb hiding Pride, Envy, Gluttony, Lust, Anger, Greed and Sloth within - While on the outside, trying to appear to all the world as something it is not; Full of Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness and Self-Control.

The Church today has become something that Jesus would never have desired her to become; A Geisha.

A Geisha who knows all, sees all, smiles politely, says nothing and waits for a perfect Groom to remove her from the service of all mankind.

Shame on us.

HOPE

2005-01-31T13:19:00.000-08:00

Envy, Consumption and Moderation

2005-01-24T09:26:00.000-08:00

I have a friend who is, by all accounts, rich.
Well, maybe not by all accounts, but, he is at least monetarily, very wealthy.

So what's wrong with that? Right?
Good for him, he's got money, maybe he earned it...Maybe making money comes to him naturally, is that not OK? Should I envy him his apparent wealth because he's got it and I don't?

To that point; why should I or anyone else feel sore against anyone for their money whether earned or gifted?
Nobody should, but we do.

Envy is a hard thing to get around; it can eat at your insides like a tapeworm, stealing your strength of will or your desire to do well; just for the sake of doing well.
Envy shades your vision on certain issues where you may need your vision to be completely unobstructed so that you can view clearly-the world around you and those that affect you most.

You've heard of Beer-Goggles right? You're hanging out with your friends late one night on the town and you've had one too many Pabst Blue Ribbons. Your "vision" and judgment are now impaired to the point that you're on the dance floor with a prize winning pie-eater who vaguely resembles a toad(not that there's anything wrong with that)...Beer-Goggles firmly in place; your standards hit rock bottom and you're left with little of the convictions that you'd held onto so dearly earlier that very day.

Envy has goggles too.

**************************

My friend seems to be very good at making a great deal of money with apparently little "real-effort" (Keep in mind that when I say "real-effort" I'm talking about busting a sweat and being uncomfortable because you're working so hard) and with his apparent wealth my friend seems hell-bent on buying everything that money can buy...Mansion, Hummer, matching BMWs for he and the trophy-wife(bitch) and multiple vacations per year to exclusive island getaways that would make MTV royalty drool and pout...

Understand me, I love my friend, he's one of the people I relate to best on a personal level and he's been my friend for almost a decade.
But, now, every time I hear his name or hear his voice or see a picture of him or even think about him - three words come to mind; consume, consume and consume...and that bums me out.

Is this my issue? Is there something wrong with me that I have a hard time being ok with my friend completely changing his life because he's making more money than most people I know?

On Consumption as a lifestyle, let me ask a better question; If you have money to burn, should you?

***********************************

*********************************

I'm sure that you've heard the old saying; "Everything in moderation" ?

Does this mean that we should moderate How Much, How Hard, How Often; We Work, Love, Eat, Drink, Sleep, Wake, Breathe, Learn, Live?

OR, should moderation only apply to the things that we do DO but shouldn't-all the time? Like; Hate, Hurt, Fight, Lie, Steal, Argue, Alcohol, Drugs, Food, Sex?

So, good job.
Now you are Glassy-eyed, Starving, Dull, Retarded from lack of contact with the things that make you YOU and over all you are just a BORE to be with.
Tony Robbins you ain't.

I say, Self-Govern.
Self Governing as opposed to Self-Moderation as a better lifestyle choice.
Moderate your Moderations.
Control your appetites with an iron-will born of education and a desire to Do and Be Well.

Curb your appetite for those things that entrap you so easily, ask for help on this, self-governing is possible but made easier with assistance.

Over all, understand this; All Things in Moderation, Especially Moderation.

Be you; just don't let it kill you, that's the point, isn't it?

Molehills and Mountains

2005-01-20T11:00:00.000-08:00

Me and Mrs. Donaghy on top of a volcano in Hawaii on our honeymoon at sunrise.

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Have you ever been in the middle of doing something, let's say a project, and you suddenly realized that you may not have been doing it correctly and you had to go back and correct all the mistakes you'd made along the way?
I have, recently.

My wife and I have an amazing friendship, we have shared this same connection and love of being together since our first date on March 3rd 2000...I believe it's because of our great friendship that we don't fight a lot...I mean to say, not very often.

My wife and I joined the softball team of our church, neither of us are very athletic and we figured this would be fun a good way to make a better connection with each other and with our church community...best intentions of mice and men.

At our second practice with the team I noticed that my wife was not looking especially enthusiastic about running around and chasing after errant softballs...
So, I, the dork, who doesn't know anything about softball, decided to "encourage" my wife to "do better"...thinking that this "encouragement" would be welcomed and that she would all of a sudden feel more enthusiastic about running around and playing a sport that neither of us was really any good at in the first place...I was terribly, terribly wrong.

My wife took my attempted "encouragement" as me badgering her and pushing her and basically just being a jerk to her...I of course couldn't see that angle at all, for obvious reasons, I am a man, typically, my mind was on a rail.

My wife was upset for the rest of the practice and I was flabbergasted by her being upset at all, and so, we did not speak to each other for the whole car ride home as well as the rest of the afternoon...I assumed that she was just pissed about not being very comfortable playing the game and so I thought that a few hours of us being apart would do the trick and then things would be fine and she would come back and be all happy and loving...again, I was terribly, terribly wrong.

Later that evening my wife and I sat down on the couch, not looking at each other, not talking, just sitting and watching Seinfeld...until she turned to me and basically unloaded on me.

I will now point out all of the things that I did wrong over the course of our conversation...

1. When my wife said that my "encouragement" was not helpful and made her feel worse; I went on the offensive and said something incredibly dumb..."I was just trying to make you more confident by throwing the softball to you harder and faster" When I should have said, "I'm sorry, I guess I don't know much about softball either, I should have been paying more attention to how you were feeling about the whole thing." = I am retarded.

2. When my wife said that she was thinking about quitting the softball team because she "sucked"; I said "Maybe you should talk to the coach about quitting" Dumbass - If I had taken the stick out of my butt I would've said, "Honey, don't quit, you don't suck, you're awesome; I'll help you in any way I can, just don't quit, I want you to play with me on the team."

3. Over all, I blew this one, my attitude had gotten in the way of my wife and I making some real headway in communication with one another...damn me.

After we went toe-to-toe for a few hours; I realized that I WAS THE PROBLEM, she hadn't been upset about anything until I made it an issue, I apologized for being such an ass and not being genuinely encouraging and than we made up and made out.

The next day we went to the store and bought my wife a brand new softball glove and a brand new softball, we went to the park and tossed the ball back and forth and talked about everything and nothing for about an hour...it's all good.

Now, I don't share info about our private life so that you can see that I'm a jerk and my wife is an angel but rather so that those who want to know - Can Know - Marriage takes work, it is worth the effort, you are not always right, you are often wrong, and arguing can be educational and healing IF you want it to be...otherwise you are doomed.

Softball was of course, not the issue, the issue could have been anything, anything at all...the lesson was of course; Communication - and not just Communication but Understanding.

Be kind to one another, we're all we've got.

Dumb as a Rock and Dying for Attention

2005-01-18T10:20:00.000-08:00

An excerpt from www.cnn.com
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"NORTH FORT MYERS, Florida (AP)
-- A woman fell to her death while trying to do a handstand on the railing of a second-floor hotel balcony, sheriff's officials said.
Molly Jerman, 23, of Cape Coral died Sunday.
While attempting a handstand, she toppled over and dropped to the hotel patio, according to the Lee County sheriff's department.
Just before she fell, she had called out to a friend, "Watch to see what I can still do," a police report said.
Foul play is not believed to be involved, officials said."
*********************

23 year old Molly Jerman called out to her friend "Watch to see what I can still do" before attempting a handstand on a handrail that couldn't have been any wider than a few inches; then plunged to her death...For what? Some attention? A few minutes of blissful recognition for, what? Anything? Certainly not validation, friendship? It sounds like she already had friends; one of which heard the cry for attention and then stood by and watched Molly Jerman (essentially) commit suicide.

Don't misunderstand me, I'm not blaming Molly's friends' inaction for Molly's death. Rather; I'm simply pointing out that (IMHO) there's a certain level of "H0-Hum" that seems to be embedded in our reactivity to the world around us.

Let me explain...

Even though I was born in the late '70s and didn't really know what was going on until the early-'90s; I can look back now and see how much things have changed.
The way we relate to each other, our family members, strangers, men and women, the breakdown of communication as friendly banter turned to negotiation in a business atmosphere.

Single men don't ask single women out for a date while working in a professional workplace for fear of being sued for harassment...If a man has good fashion sense, a nice hair cut, smells nice, is polite and use words like "Please" and Thank You"; He must be gay...If a woman can bench her weight, curses like a sailor and wears kahkis; she must be a lesbian...Women, in general, believe that all men are swine, lazy, stupid-good for nothing - UNLESS - They are wildly rich...Men, in general, believe that all women are money-hungry-bitches with unrealistic demands - UNLESS - They are super models with an incredible rack...Children do not confide in their parents for fear of being controlled and punished unjustly...Parents do not scold their children for fear of being reported to child protective services or be viewed as an ogre or un-cool by their kids...Husbands and wives don't talk about their wants and needs as married couples until it's too late and no amount of talk will fix the leaks in the relation-ship. etc. etc. etc.

...And so the suffering continues down the line, Father to Son, Mother to Daughter, Husband to Wife, Stranger to Stranger until we are afraid to speak to one another for fear of offending another person with our opinion on Coke VS Pepsi.

We watch endless hours of "Reality" TV and we root for the type-cast "good guy" and hope beyond hope that he or she will be able to eat just enough roaches or drive a sports car off of a rooftop just fast enough to jump through the flaming hoop...We ponder whether the Bachelorette will make the right choice and dump the stalking wanna-be from Timbucktu or keep the hunky Fireman from San Diego...We are shocked when the latest hollywood royalty couple breaks up because one wants to have a baby and the other wants to have a stripper...We envy the rich and famous for their rich and famous lifestyles and their insanely expensive choices in home decor...We read magazines that do nothing more than make us feel like we need to lose half of our body weight and have ripped-abs in order to even consider being accepted by a person of the opposite sex...We are convinced that we look terrible in in our underwear because we only have Victoria's Secret and Abercrombie & Fitch models to compare ourselves to and since nobody will stop and out of selflessness say "Damn, you look good today!" we'd never know it...We have to have the newest, fastest, most incredible and most award receiving SUV in order to fit in with the rest of the neighborhood...We have to have the biggest TV ON THE PLANET - otherwise people might wonder if we have any money at all...

And, getting back to the point, we are in so much of a need to have a connection with another person that we'll drink too much to "get the feeling", smoke cigarettes "only when we drink", experiment with illegal drugs, steal and lie.

We are so hurting for attention that we will do a handstand on the handrail of a hotel balcony to get that human connection that we are so desperately searching for...it doesn't even matter who we're getting the attention from.

We need attention so badly that we're killing ourselves to get it.

Words Of Value for Confused People

2005-01-15T22:05:00.000-08:00

Albert Einstein said "Science without religion is lame; religion without science is blind."

Atheists object to the use of this quote, since Einstein might best be described as an agnostic. Einstein himself stated quite clearly that he did not believe in a personal God: "It was, of course, a lie what you read about my religious convictions, a lie which is being systematically repeated. I do not believe in a personal God and I have never denied this but have expressed it clearly."

So, the quick answer to the question is that Einstein did not believe in a personal God.

It is however, interesting how he arrived at that conclusion. In developing the theory of relativity, Einstein realized that the equations led to the conclusion that the universe had a beginning. He didn't like the idea of a beginning, because he thought one would have to conclude that the universe was created by God.

So, he added a cosmological constant to the equation to attempt to get rid of the beginning.
He said this was one of the worst mistakes of his life.

Of course, the results of Edwin Hubble confirmed that the universe was expanding and had a beginning at some point in the past.
So, Einstein became a deist - a believer in an impersonal creator God: "I believe in Spinoza's God who reveals himself in the orderly harmony of what exists, not in a God who concerns himself with fates and actions of human beings."

It is the second part of the quote that reveals the reason Einstein rejected the existence of a personal God.
Einstein compared the remarkable design and order of the cosmos and could not reconcile those characteristics with the evil and suffering he found in human existence.
How could an all-powerful God allow the suffering that exists on earth?

Einstein's failure to understand the motives of God are the result of his incorrect assumption that God intended this universe as His ultimate perfect creation. Einstein could not get past the moral problems that are present in our universe. He assumed, as most atheists do, that a personal God would only create a universe which is both good morally and perfect physically.

However, according to Christianity, the purpose of the universe is not to be morally or physically perfect, but to provide a place where spiritual creatures can choose to love or reject God - to live with Him forever in a new, perfect universe, or reject Him and live apart from Him for eternity. It would not be possible to make this choice in a universe in which all moral choices are restricted to only good choices.
Einstein didn't seem to understand that one could not choose between good and bad if bad did not exist. It's amazing that such a brilliant man could not understand such a simple logical principle.

These days, those who fail to understand the purpose of evil not only reject the concept of a personal God, but also reject the concept of God's existence altogether. If you are an agnostic or atheist, my goal for you would be to recognize what Albert Einstein understood about the universe - that its amazing design demands the existence of a creator God.
Then, go beyond Einstein's faulty understanding of the purpose of the universe and consider the Christian explanation for the purpose of human life and why evil must exist in this world.

Stripping + Career = $$$?

2005-01-14T11:07:00.000-08:00

An excerpt from www.usatoday.com

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"SAN FRANCISCO (AP) — School officials in Palo Alto are reconsidering their use of a popular speaker for an annual career day after he advised middle school students that they could earn a good living as strip dancers.
William Fried told eighth-graders at Jane Lathrop Stanford Middle School that stripping and exotic dancing could be lucrative career moves for girls, offering as much as $250,000 or more per year, depending on their bust size.
"It's sick, but it's true," Fried, president of Foster City's Precision Selling, a management consulting firm, told The Associated Press. "The truth of the matter is you can earn a tremendous amount of money as an exotic dancer, if that's your desire."
The school has asked Fried to give his 55-minute presentation, "The Secret of a Happy Life," for the past three years.
A tip sheet he distributes to students includes a list of 140 potential careers and areas of interest they can consider pursuing. Along with professions as accounting and nursing, the list offers such nontraditional suggestions as exotic dancing, stripping and acting as a spiritual medium.
He counsels students to experiment with a variety of interests until they discover their "life's purpose," something they love and excel in. The presentation and handout have been praised by students, school principal Joseph Di Salvo and others said.
Fried's presentation "helped me realize that my career choice should not be influenced by money," one student wrote in a thank-you letter. "It should be influenced by what we like and are good at."
But on Tuesday, some students asked Fried to expand on why he included "exotic dancing" on the list.
Fried spent about a minute answering questions, defining strippers and exotic dancers synonymously. He told students, "For every two inches up there, you should get another $50,000 on your salary," student Jason Garcia, 14, said.
"A couple of students egged him and he took it hook, line and sinker," said Di Salvo, who also said the students took advantage of a substitute teacher overseeing the session.
Di Salvo heard about the exchange when the mother of a student called him the next morning. She said she was outraged when her son announced that he was forgoing college for a career in a field he truly loves — fishing — and said she found Fried's handout even more disconcerting.
Di Salvo, who has since heard from another parent, said Fried's overall presentation is a positive one. The mention of exotic dancing and Fried's off-the-cuff remarks, however, have prompted him to consider barring the speaker from next year's career day.
The principal said he would send letters of apology home with students.
"It's totally inappropriate," Di Salvo said. "It's not OK by me. I would want my presenters to kind of understand that coming into a career day for eighth-graders."
School board member Mandy Lowell didn't expect Fried's comment to cause lasting damage but said the speaker didn't adhere to the message of achievement the district is trying to promote.
"I don't think that your natural or implant-inflated bust size is what our schools aim to nurture," she said. "My aspiration is not to have children in this district become exotic dancers."
District superintendent Mary Frances Callan did not immediately return two telephone calls seeking comment.
Despite the uproar, many students said Fried was the most inspiring speaker in a lineup that included a pilot, an attorney, a classical pianist and a journalist.
"He really focused on finding what you really love to do," said Mariah Cannon, 13.
Cannon also said she wouldn't want exotic dancing taken off Fried's list. Although parents might find it hard to hear, it's a legitimate career choice, she said.
Student Tom Marks, 13, said he found some of Fried's comments "weird and unnecessary" but still thinks he should return next year.
"I don't think he should have gone into all the details," he said. "I just got upset that he talked about it so much."
Fried, 64, said he does not think he offended anyone.
"Eighth-grade kids are not dumb," he said. "They are pretty worldly.""

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Where are the career advisors that encourage careers such as Highly-Paid Assassins? Crime bosses? Drug dealers? or maybe even Pimps? - Any of these jobs would be somewhat glamorous and desired comparably...right?

And yet, I digress.

Now, I have nothing against any woman choosing to use what she's got to further her self and her "net-worth", the thing is; I don't think that I'd like a career advisor to be hired by a local school to come in and encourage my kids (If I had any) to strip for a living...that having been said; I'm sure that my offspring will make their own dumb-ass decisions without much encouragement from any outside sources, so let's not stir the pot unnecessarily.
OK?

Space, Time and Little Green Men

2005-01-14T08:50:00.000-08:00

A few questions were posed recently that I had the time to respond to and I thought I'd paste the blather here as well...

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1. big bang -- are we ever expanding -- or are we gonna retract?
2. edge of universe...what are we expanding into?
3. notion of eternity
4. planets -- how many earth-like planets are out there, etc.?
5. aliens...and why would they want to hang around primitive us?
6. parellel universes

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Here's my thoughts on the questions posed...
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1. According to some Nobel prize winning research and conjecture by a couple of guys (who I can't remember the names of) the universe has been "expanding" outwardly from a single point for a measurable amount of time...big bang say you...creation on an unimaginable scale say I.

2. Look at it this way...before the universe began its expansion at the beginning of "time"; there WAS NO universe to expand into...meaning that the universe did not exist until it existed! On that same token, albeit on a much larger scale, the universe has continued to expand and "exist" until now and will continue to "expand" and "exist" for all of "time" - Keep in mind that Expand, Exist and Time are all relative terms that are extremely simple-minded terminologies that we've used to describe the indescribable. So, the short answer to the question is: We Are Expanding into Nothing! Wrap your mind around that one for a few hours;)

3. Rather than trying to determine if eternity is reality; determine first if YOU are an eternal being...not your flesh and blood of course, we know that your atoms will eventually stop being you and will become something else - so, wait, that means that you ARE eternal at an infinitesimally small degree...but on we go. Did your soul exist before you were born? If so, that would mean that your soul had no beginning rather just a starting point at which time your soul came to BE you. Now, if something has no beginning than logically it would have no end and would thus be eternal, right? I believe in eternity, whether in some ethereal afterlife or in some altered state that is so far beyond our own reckoning that we haven't begun to imagine it...I believe in it, belief in the eternal, lets call it faith in the unknown, unseen and as of yet unimagined.

4. Earth-like, meaning capable of sustaining human life? Not even the greatest scientists of our time can say without any doubt that there are planets exactly like Earth in every way...Earth is so special and so delicate that it is an unbelievably huge accomplishment for this planet to have turned out the way that it did; especially in regard to this planet being able to sustain not just human life but all of the minutiae forms of life that walk, crawl and squirm under the sun and surf. Short answer, who knows? And - Wouldn't that be cool?

5. Aliens? Maybe...but not the way that we imagine them...with human-like bodies, enlarged heads and uncanny intelligence. More than likely if we were ever to bump into an "Alien" from "Outer Space"; the Alien would probably be in the form of an unknown biological matter or some form of unknown germ or protein...certainly not anything that closely resembles a small child with bug-eyes. As for UFOs, ask the Air Force.

6. Sure, more than likely there are a Trillion-Billion-Million of them exactly like our own universe. Except for the fact that they are so incredibly far away that we could never actually explore them to confirm this thought - certainly this seems entirely possible given the scope of our ever "expanding" universe.
There you have it:)

Bad behavior in the common man & The abuse of grace as a lifestyle.

2005-01-12T13:40:00.000-08:00

So, I work in a customer service oriented job, (what kind of job isn't customer service huh?) and I swear that I must deal with some of the dumbest people on the planet; no exaggeration.
In my particular position of service people call me up and request account information...the most common and dumbest thing that people seem to do is blurt out information that is neither helpful nor prudent...example: Phone rings, I pick up and say hello and "What is your account number?" member says "My password is zippitydoodah, my DOB is 01/02/03 and the last 4 of my SSN is 3333"...Now, why, on Gods green earth, would you blurt out personal information without first establishing that you're talking to the person you want to be talking to and have reached the appropriate department or location? I figure if someone is dumb enough to give out info that hasn't been requested than it's pretty much a guarantee that these same people survive by the grace of other more intelligent people...you know that saying: "And there by the grace of God, go I" ? Well, that's the only way that I can imagine that some people have lived as long as they have...by the grace of GOD!
On the same token...The guy that cut you off in his sports car this morning on your way to work (bastard), the woman with too many rowdy and uncontrolled kids in the supermarket that grabbed the last carton of eggs as you were reaching for it(birth control), the boss that decided that you aren't a team player and are not worth the raise that every one else got even though you've been with the company the longest(napoleon complex) and your brother that left home way too young to chase his dreams of being a drugged out loner that lived under bridges and dreamt of being a multi-millionare without any actual "real-world" experience(sad)...all of these people milling about and bumping into each other on this ball of dirt, they must be here for something, though they may never recognize it, even so, they will continue to make poor decisions and stab others in the Achilles heel without necessarilly trying...they're all under the same umbrella of grace as me even if they don't get it...(Damn it.)

You see, I believe in Gods grace, I believe it's worth believing in because I've felt its effects...BUT...if some moron is soaking up all the grace because they're too dumb to get in out of the rain and put some shoes on when they're walking through rusty nails then GOD HELP US ALL and save us from the people you've deemed worthy of your grace!

Is it possible to take advantage of Gods grace?

I suppose some people might equate grace with salvation and in so doing might say "Once saved, always saved"...I don't know if I believe that but it sure sounds nice...sounds nice, but not very realistic, to me anyway. But is Gods grace realistic? Not "Is God real?" but is Gods grace and do Gods actions of grace speak of realistic-ness - real-ISM in the everyday senses of my made up words?
I don't think so, I think God moves and works on a decidedly un-realistic level...are you shocked? Hiding from lightning?...let me explain what I mean...
God (three in one) in his/their infinite wisdom created beings in his/their own image to multiply and supplant the earth and to have communion with God...seems pretty unreal already...to continue...man rebelled against a simple command that was not altogether un-realistic in its simplicity; "Do not eat of that tree." JUST DON'T DO IT, DON'T! How much more simple and realistic could a request be?
But, they did, they ate, they saw, they got booted from the perfect garden home and an eternal physical life...(thus down through the ages men and women age to an average of 75 to 80 years and no more)...So man is already particularly NOT GOOD at following practical and realistic instructions...
So, God's grace, is it realistic? And do we take advantage of it?

Let's look at it a different way to search for a possible answer...You are a young teenager, an only child, the icing on your parents cake and the apple of your fathers eye...you're not spoiled but you know that you've got certain advantages that you didn't necessarily earn...you want to go to the mall or the movies, go on a date with the lead singer of DEATHRAT! or get a sports car that you cannot afford on your part time job wages working at the Hello Kitty store in the strip mall...you beg and plead and moan and groan until your daddy either gives you what you want or gives up on you completely...after all, why shouldn't you have everything your heart desires? You are the apple of your fathers eye, are you not?...and because you know of the advantages that can be gained because of your particularly lofty status with your daddy; why shouldn't be able to make any poorly judged, not thought through, bad decision that you want to?
So you got the Porsche, you dated the tattooed and pierced death metal singer, you saw all the movies, bought all the toys and snorted every friggin powder you could get your hands on - and why not? Daddy loved you and wouldn't say no if you begged him enough to have your way whether or not it was good for you...so, you're washed up now, congratulations, you got everything you wanted with no consequences...but does daddy still love you after all that you've done? Yes. Is he disappointed in the decisions you've made? Probably, but you would never know it because he's always loved you with the same intensity and fervor...
So, did you take advantage of daddys love? Was his love realistic in the first place or did it place too many demands on you? Were you required to join a club or recite a mantra in order to take advantage of his love? When you'd blown it and came back bruised and bleeding from all the mistakes you'd made did daddy require you to say his name and birthdate until you were blue in the face?
No. That's all. Simple. Just no.

You weren't required to DO anything...the only thing that was required of you was to BE. Not BE GOOD or BE NICE or BE THE BEST...The only qualification that was necessary for you to have earned his love was that you were his child.

So there it is, the explanation that you've been waiting for all your life to explain Gods grace and in effect his love...Now, if you could just wrap your head around the idea that Jesus was/is Gods grace in the flesh/spirit...but we'll save that for another day.
Final thought...Is Gods grace/love some kind of chainlink band-aid that he uses to cover up our bad decisions and the wounds they inflict? - OR - Is it an inescapable foundation that we don't recognize as necessary until we've seemingly used up all of our "Get out of jail free" cards and need "Daddy" to bail us out?

And...can we...do we...are we, taking advantage of Gods grace, unnecessarily?

NOT POSSIBLE.

As hard as we may try and as bad as we believe we have been, will be and have become; Gods grace will never be something that we could abuse...
Put simply: Because we can not earn it; we can not spend it.